Wonderings & Wanderings

Emergent Village at Solomons Porch

I'm up in beautiful Minnesota for the EmergentVillage national coordinators meeting.   

Solomon's Porch is very graciously  hosting us in their lovely new space.  Being a part of church start that is actively looking for space - I'm quite jealous of the old Methodist church that SP is now leasing.  They've taken out all of the pews and replaced them with their trademark sofas, coffee tables, and astounding art.  I've been to Solomon's Porch many times and always enjoy being in their worship gatherings.  Last night was a wonderful experience which included community creedal statements, a child dedication/baptism filled with prophetic metaphor, engaging personal story, and an opportunity for the Emergent leadership community to interface with a local missional community.  Many thanks to the Porchers for opening their doors to us.

Emergent Village is nearing the release of a new website that will empower our community at the grass roots level.  We're also working very diligently on justice/compassion initiatives - EmergentVillage in the future will forge its identity in active, missional Christianity. 

After many years in Emergent's leadership, I watched this story develop from the days over a decade ago when very few noticed us to this present season when we have a "brand" (like it or not) and are part of conversation that has been commodified to some level as methodology of ecclesiology.   EmergentVillage may never be able to escape its misrepresentations - but our narrative does continue on.  I remain excited and committed to this very organic community that is far more a missional friendship than any doctrinal or methodological generalization. 

Our future will be filled with the continuation of many initatives - publishing, events, etc.  But many new initiatives are also being explored.   As written eariler, but it bears repeating,  EmergentVillage has reached a point in its narrative when the embodiment of the heart of Christ as his kingdom through paths of compassion, justice, and creativity moves even more to the center of this friendship. 

Grace and Gratitude

Recently, as a component of our worship at Emmaus Way, Wade (our Artist-in-Residence) offered an opportunity for folks in our community to write a series of anonymous prayers to be used in a song he is writing about the faith journey of our community.  He and I were both amazed at the amount of personal guilt and shame in these prayers.   When we reported this, several friends asked that we begin a conversation series on God's grace. 

While some in Christian circles have lamented "cheap grace" (the fear of tossing out blanket forgiveness for just about everything I believe is the concern here)....I think grace is one of the most difficult subjects to wrap one's mind around...

Most of us struggle with the idea of a God who loves us, forgives us, accepts us, and embraces us regardless of the story of our lives. 
•Some feel like a value of grace is useless since most of us don't need it.
•Some worry that God's offer of grace is some horrific bait-and-switch, a conditional offer that hides some unimaginable conditions in the fine print.
•Still others find portions of their lives unforgiveable and fear that they are unacceptable to God.  (Don't we all truly have that "day," "week," or "season" of our lives that we would like to have back?)

I feel like I fit in all three of those categories simultaneously. 

When thinking about the graciousness of God, I often think of the story Jesus told about workers in a vineyard that is reported in Matthew 20.  I am deeply indebted to Henri Nouwen for offering a powerful perspective on this story.

The parable of the workers in the vineyard does not present a God (the landowner in the story) who is always easy to understand.  Paying those who worked only one hour the equivalent of those who worked all day does not seem to be the best motivation plan for subsequent days.  As on person commented, "that kind of stunt might work for one day, but one day only."  This is what is so confusing, mysterious — and gracious about God.  God simply just doesn't work on our standards and values.  What seems wise to us may be foolish to God.  Somewhere in here lurks the possiblity that God's concept and empression of grace goes far beyond any of my simple conceptions (that are marred by my conditional understandings of justice).

The landowner of Matthew 20 is man who doesn't look like a privileged landowner at all (or any form of successful entrepeneur or captain of industry).  He looks like a man who is committed to an excessive generosity that is freely given at his own expense.  This is a clue that many of our objections to grace are unfounded.

But, even if our objections fall aside, how do we pursue this grace that is so alien to our logic and experiences?

The story offers another clue.  The landowner pays those who worked least right in the face of those who worked the most.  When those who worked all day began to grumble at lack of differentiation in their wages, the landowner asks them point blank why they are envious at his generosity.  Henri Nouwen explains that this foolish, naive, excessive landowner in the context of narrative expects these workers to celebrate his generosity.  Because they lack gratitude, they cannot celebrate this act of generosity.

Nouwen makes a powerful point.  Our pursuit of the experience of God's generosity is related to our ability to foster a discipline of gratitude.  As we continue this conversation on grace, fostering a discipline of gratitude will always be near the center of this conversation.

As we face our wounds, the wounds we cause others, our passions to respond to a broken world, our ambitions and expectations...we will need to find a path to explore the complexities of our life from a posture of gratitude. 

This weekend, many all around our country will unite in a Night Commute to commemorate the nightly trek of Ugandan children to avoid abuction into the rebel army (for use a child soldiers or sexual slavery).  I just spent the afternoon watching "The Invisible Children," a documentary about this horrific situation.  After watching the documentary, I thought long and hard about the life situation and opportunties available for my own children.  With this juxtapostion — although the concept of God's grace eludes reason, understanding, and sometimes experience —it is not too difficult to find rich avenues of gratitude.     

Capital Punishment & Emmaus Way

In recent weeks, we've had several opportunities to react to the death penalty in NC.  Our friends at Rutba House, an intentional community just down the street, have formed a coaltion to protest the wave of recent executions at Central Prison in Raleigh.  Several Emmaus Way community members have acted on their conscience and have joined the protests.  Just last night, we provided food for a gathering of this coalition.

So do we have an official position on capital punishment?  Do you have to oppose the death penalty to be a part of our community? 

The blunt answers are, "no" and "no." 

But there is so much more to say. We strive to be a community of activists.  As a result, we are excited when Emmaus Way steps out based on conscience shaped by an understanding of God's heart and vision to respond to the ills and pains of our community and world.  Several in our community feel prayerfully compelled to activism in this arena.  I certainly applaude their conviction and courage.

There is another value, perhaps a hidden value, that needs to be highlighted.  That value is honest dialogue as a component of mission in the ways of Jesus.  One of my greatest critiques of many churches in our culture is the maintenance of the myth of consensus and uniformity that so often precludes honest dialogue and missional risks.  Let me explain a bit...

Whether liberal or conservative, free or episcopal, protestant or Catholic — the modern church is a doctrinally-driven church.  This is one of the strong legacies of the reformation (regardless of which side of the reformation you are on).  The engine that drives so many churches is the expectation of doctrinal conformity.  We join our churches by doctrinal affirmation.  Leaders find respect and positions of responsibility (along with several other important qualifications) by affirming the doctrinal stream of the fellowship and being able to communicate this tradition.    This doctrinal impulse creates an aura of uniformity and consensus. 

After serving for 20 years in large, mainstream evangelical churches, my view from the inside reveals that homogeneity even in doctrine and essential beliefs is a myth.  The diversity in even "essentials" is astounding.  I can't tell you how many times I've heard statements like this whispered in my office:  "I know I'm supposed to believe in hell — but I don't and I can't." 

The need for uniformity and the intuitive sense of many in Christian churches of diversity combine to put a lid on honest dialogue about critical theological, political, and social issues.  This "lid" is strongly accentuated by the strong attachment of special politcal social positions to the core doctrine of most churches.

For example in some churches, you had better be "pro-life"  or if not keep really quiet.  In the church across the street, a "pro-choice" verdict is a social, theological essential.  This divisiveness and inertia holds to form for Republican/Democratic alliegances, views of homosexuality, and - issues like capital punishment. So we stay silent in our churches. 

We live in a culture that has lost its ability to dialogue in the midst of differences and instead of teaching this very-Jesus-like skill and leading, we are quiet.  There are grave consequences in our mission because of this silence.  Consensus so often drives our mission.  Or better said, it impedes mission.  No longer can we risk or act on faith impulses where there is no consensus. 

I cannot tell how many missional opportunities I have seen missed because of the lack of consensus, the lack of dialogue that would clarify the goals of the opportunity, or the fear of taking a risk.  I serve on Durham's MLK Steering Committee.  I was shocked in my first meeting to hear that some white churches had turned the opportunity to host an MLK event because there was not a consensus on MLK's legacy.  He was and remains controversial for some.  Hence, a wonderful opportunity that most would embrace results in a painful rejection. 

What is Emmaus Way's hope in regards to social issues that divide us?  Simply - we hope to talk about them in a manner that informs, builds community, inspires mission, and — on occasion — precludes missional activity.  Dialogue can be a great friend to wisdom and caution. 

In doing so, I think we will take a bold step away from the norm.  Dialogue in arenas of emotion and division is a deviation from the norm that churches in the emerging culture must take.  Postmodernism, is, if anything, an era of divergent experiences and stories.  The failure to let people tell these stories and share these experiences will be a great failure to accessible and authentic in a post-modern, post-reformation, post-Enligthenment culture. 

Finally, on capital punishment...I invite our community to begin talking - in this space, face-to-face, and in public arenas.  Let's find the time and places to explore this issue that inspired some to protest.  What can we learn from them?  Are there cautions to present?  Are there perspectives that we are missing?  This is a task and privilege that we entirely capable of  fulfilling. Peace, Tim 

Numbers 13-14

I've been thinking about last night's worship gathering of Emmaus Way all day...

Last night, we focused our dialogue on the challenging narrative of Numbers 13-14 (Here's the Reader's Digest version: Israel spies out the land of Canaan, the people revolt in fear due to the desriptions of the size and armament of the inhabitants of the land they are to take, God declares that no one over the age of 20 will ever inherit this land since the people will wander for 40 years in the desert).

In our dialogue, we reframed our understanding of the wilderness as more than mere punishment (granted the passage has more than its fair share of "rotting-corpses-in-the-desert" imagery!),  And granted, this text is as troubling as any in the Bible in some ways.  (After our gathering, several of us commented on the irony of God's blessing of the whole world in a text that asks a people to go and take the sword to another.)

Horrific images of punishment and divine mandates notwithstanding, my reading of this text centers on the people of Israel's lack of preparation to receive God's blessing of a land. The Wilderness become a place and state of preparation. The Wilderness also becomes a place restored imagination.

Over the past month, we have discussed at length one reality of life in an empire, namely that our ability to imagine and experience God's healing and redemptive work is impaired or even lost. The Israelites had so lost their vision of the future, that they preferred death in the wildnerness or a return to slavery in Egypt over receiving God's great blessing of a land so filled with fruitfulness and resources (apparently the spies found a cluster of grapes so large that it took two to carry it!).

Of course, this is our reality as well. We become so entwined in individualism, nationalism, consumerism, competition, and so much more that we can't imagine greater realities - healing, justice, contentment, community, and blessing of God's grace in our world. This is where worship becomes so essential. Formal worship and our life posture as a community who acknowledges God's grace and healing are antidotes to the numbing effect of empire.

Last night we talked about two barriers to this redemptive imagination...FEAR ( the fear that no healing or salvation occurs) or CONTENTMENT (the belief that our imperial lives are the pinnacle of human existance).

Over dinner, we commented how often our worship lives reinforce these barriers. In some settings, worship is journey down an avenue of horrors that feed the fears the paralyze our imagination and destroy our hope.

I can just hear the preachers of my childhood harping on the litany of plagues and corpses strewn through the desert as evidence of an angry God- the fate of all who refuse who come to church, tithe, or life moral lives. The tune of "I wish we'd all been ready" is starting to fill my mind.

But more likely for most of us, we find worship environments that feed our contentment. Many of by accident of birth into upper middle class homes which offered a myriad of opportunities see our lives as the essence of being blessed by God. We've found it - the redemptive vision. No wilderness for us. So much of our worship affirms or even baptizes this flawed vision. Our songs and forms exist to comfort us and affirm our lives. Entertainment, enjoyment, and cathartic experience all become unspoken goals.

This, of course, is not even remotely a prophetic point.  So many have said the same and better.

Wade and I have spoken of this many times. As a gifted performer who spent two decades touring (as "The Basics" with his wife Kelly) and as a producer, he is so aware of the formulas to comfort and entertain. Commenting last night, he expressed thanks for not being "a hired jukebox" who cranks out seven song sets to affirm our contentment or "set the stage" for something truly important(!).

I thought the music last night - lyrics and tone — were such a powerful catalyst to move us from our fears and contentment. The range included pop, a cherished U2 anthem from the 80's, and folk. Each song was well chosen to challenge our contentment, give voice to our fears (so that they don't rule us), give freedom to pursue joy, and the confront some the great mysteries of God's intersection in our lives. As a friend said last night, "why doesn't a God who the power to shape the constellations intervene more in the evils of this world?"

Our course our gathered worship is far more than just music (a horrific reduction in many communities). Last night we heard a wonderful story of mission and redemption from our friends at One World Market. Laura Wendell, the Executive Director, came to thank us for our partnership in helping them sell goods from all over the world at fair prices.

When we gather weekly over the communion table, we engage the great mystery of God's presence in our lives, community, and world. We are faced with reality that we so often resist, that God sustains rather than our own gifts and ingenuities. The Eucharist simultaneously assuages our fear (being reminded of God's provision) and confronts our contentment (by describing a reality of sacrifice that is so often absent from contented lives). The Eucharist is a act of acceptance and rebellion wrapped in the common act of eating and drinking.

Our challenge is to form communities to function like the duality of the Eucharist and the wilderness in the Old Testament narrative.  We need communities that guide us to avoid the paralysis and hopeless of fear while also relentlessly confronting our contentment and entitlement.

 

Praying at Antioch

On Wednesday Night, four friends from Emmaus Way and I joined Antioch Baptist Church in a prayer gathering - truly a prayer march.   Antioch is a primarily African-American church in Northeast Central Durham - one of Durham's most underserved communities.  A group of around 50 disciples (that is the best definition I can think of for the adults, youth, and children who comprise Antioch's prayer ministry) gathered on a small lot just North of Antioch's building to pray.  Over the next hour, we moved around their building to pray on each point of the compass.  This movement of prayer gave us a wider perspective on the neighborhood, offered opportunity to collect a few passers-by into our circle, and gave us a sense of the infinite trajectories of God's mercy and purposes.

Our community at Emmaus Way has been invited for the past month to join Antioch in a special season of prayer.  Rev. Michael Page had just formed six prayer cells to help Antioch discern their place in God's will for their community.  Our invitation came on the heels of a lunch where Michael and I discussed the future possibilities of our ministry partnership.  We have many future activities planned with Antioch — gleaning, a Christmas Day dinner for the neighborhood, and a summer math/science camp for local middle schoolers.  But this collaboration certainly has meant the most to me.

Antioch has asked that we take time to join with them in listening to God.  Listening for opportunities, responsibilities, and the gentle words of "I love you" from God.  I confess that I'm much better in building networks, forming strategies, and making plans a reality than often listening to God beforehand.  A valuable lesson taught and learned once again.

The passion of the prayers that we have joined this past month are another reminder that we live sustained by God and clinging to God's grace.  Two huge hurricanes and tsunami should reinforce that lesson.  But I forget it - daily.   

Roberts Confirmation - The Myth of Objectivity

I was stuck in my car...
a few days ago listening to Roberts Confirmation hearings before the Senate Judiciary Committee.  Much of the dialogue wasn't really dialogue.  Several of the Senators never even got around to asking legitimate questions.  They used their allotted 30 minutes to make a political statement or to promote an allied political agenda.  Some of the questions asked of Roberts (who is a very skilled communicator) were motivated by the politics of specific issues like abortion, civil rights, etc.  Regardless of the question, one theme repetitively appeared, the claim of objectivity.   

When pushed on these emotional, political issues, Judge Roberts rightly claimed that he would examine any issue within the context of a specific case brought before the court.  He was also very wise to point out that previous briefs that he had written on many of these same issues had a context.  His briefs were written while providing legal advice to the administration that employed him.  The political needs, interests, and perspectives of that administration (I think the Reagan Admin.) created a distinct historical context for these opinions. 

Despite this obvious sensitivity to context, Roberts often appealed to "objectivity" as a shield to the specter of an "activist legacy," the fear that his personal opinions and experiences would affect his judiciary work.  His well-spoken metaphors of objectivity (often comparing himself to a umpire that enforces acknowledged rules rather than a "player" in the game) were met with relief and affirmation even by would-be opponents to his nomination.  Such is the strength of the myth of objectivity in our culture, one of the dangerous legacies of the modern world.

But of course, Roberts' personal experiences and beliefs will shape his judgments during his term on the highest court!  To do so is to be human and to act honestly with integrity.  A Roberts term on the Supreme Court will be affected by many cultural contexts.  His interaction with his colleagues and their posture (which includes all of their own experiences and perspectives!) will be one critical context.  The political climate of our nation will dictate the issues that reach this court.  Obviously, the Constitution of the United States — to use Roberts' metaphor, the rule book — will be part of a critical interpretive context.  This is resoundingly true because the Constitution must be interpreted as this great historical document encounters the new issues and questions brought forth by history.  It is a text - a proclamation of great values written in a specific (and past) historical context. 

For example, the "right to bear arms" certainly does not mean the freedom for private citizens to procure biological weapons!  Or does it?  This proclamation must be interpreted in light of the historical context of the framers (What freedom, right, and specific acts were they protecting in their time?) and the contemporary contexts where weapons have been developed that potentially go far beyond the needs of self-protection and can threaten the lives of whole populations.  Or is the Bill of Rights to be read literally always - protecting the right to bear any weapon.  Even to interpret it this literally demands a personal opinion on the value, or the lack thereof in this case, of historical contexts. 

Why do I care...?
The postmodern world has opened our eyes to the impact of our many contexts on the truth we perceive.  Acting with integrity now typically implies a great sensitivity to the personal stories that shape our perceptions rather than pretending that these personal stories do not exist or that they have no measurable impact on our lives and decisions.

Embracing this reality has tremendous implications on how we read Sacred text, encounter the traditions of those who have followed Jesus throughout the ages, and how we enter the lives of others who have different stories. 

For example, I am just finishing a marvelous book by Brian Walsh entitled  Colossians Remixed.  In his introduction, he explains why some dismiss and even fear the Scriptures.  Referring to a conversation with a friend who has, after long reflection, has become a theist but still claims no interest in the Bible, Walsh writes:

William responds to Biblical texts with a deeply set hermeneutic of suspicion.  And he has good reason for his suspicion.  This text has been used — in his experience and throughout much of Christian history — as a repressive book of absolutes that silenced all questioning.  Indeed the Bible seems to be a text suffused with certainty.  And if there is one thing that William and his generation are certain of, it is that there is no certainty.  Certainty needs to be abandoned because it claims too much for any human perspective.

Walsh continues on, quoting philosopher John Caputo, on the damages done in human culture by claims of objectivity and certainty by persons in power:

The modernist pretense to have objectively grasped a total reality invariably results in a totalitarian social practice.  Failing to recognize that human knowledge is always constructed in particular historical contexts, "total systems" are invariably achieved "only at the cost of violence, by repressing what doesn't fit and erasing the memory of those who have questioned it."

What does it mean...?
This is certainly not an attack on truth.  Truth and reality certainly exist.  As do values that shape our lives and human societies.  But, of course, as servants of truth and meaning, we operate in a world of subjective impressions and perceptions.  Being open to this reality, we are driven to community and relationship knowing that our knowledge is incomplete and that our perceptions need to be balanced by the experiences of others.   In this process of community formation, many certainties are not only allowed but are resoundingly endorsed with the voices of so many.  My certainty in the existence of a loving, redemptive, personal God because of this process - that this same God has touched the stories of so many that I love and respect. 

Such an understanding releases the Bible from its captivity as a book of a-cultural directives and a-historical prescriptions.  The Bible William and so many others fear can become a sacred text that encounters human dramas and contexts with grace and eternal meaning. 

By the way, I have little doubt that Judge Roberts also understand the importance of context in interpretation.  But sadly, our current context that idolizes certainties and bows to the myth of objectivity forces him to speak as if it were true. 

Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill Cohort 2.0

I just got back from from the re-start of Raleigh-Durham's Cohort Meeting...

For the uninitiated, "cohorts" is term Emergent uses for local communities that gather to discuss the intersections of church, culture, theology, and life. These local groups have been developing all over the country. Just over three years ago, we only had a handful...but in the past year cohorts have been developing in most major cities around the country. For an example of a great cohort, check-out Uprooted in Chicago .

Chris Marlow (pastor of Sacred, a church plant in Raleigh), Tyler Jones (pastor of Vintage21, an Acts29 church near N.C.State's campus) and I are working to get the second version of our cohort going this fall. In the past, we've meet mid-week in the mornings and have had a great small group of professional pastors join us. But in this derivation, we have changed our monthly meeting time to the evenings to include a much wider group of persons who want to join us but are not available during the day. We have several friends in Greensboro, Eastern NC, and Southern Virginia who are also hoping to join us.

The Plan: We will meet for the time being at Vintage21 (off of Oberlin Rd., near Cameron Village and N.C. State - see Vintage21.com for better directions) at 7:30pm on the fourth Monday of each month.

Please feel invited to join us for a wide range of theological and cultural dialogue. One of our primary goals is to build/restore the voice of the church in the Triangle and a post-Christian culture.

Also, please feel free to drop me a line if you have questions or suggestions (Tyler and I will be developing the topics and "content" for the cohort meetings).

Katrina...Jonah...Horror...Shame...and liturgies of Hope

Though certainly not entirely planned - our worship examination of the life journey of Jonah collided with the horror and tragedy in the wake of hurricane Katrina. Pastorally, I talked with several in our community and in my own family (include Mimi and me on this list) who are encountering fear, guilt, shame, and missional fervor in this week or terrible images and urgent need.

Jonah offered a portrait of courage (albeit misguided), nationalism (certainly misguided), thankfulness (perhaps short-sighted), stubborn participation in God's plans, and downright cussin'-tantrum throwin'-anger at God's mercy and kindness. One of the trajectories of this great Scriptural story is that of a gracious God who goes far beyond our meagre expectations and captivating prejudices. Jonah cannot accept the greatness of God's mercy. He is forefather of the workers in the vineyard described in parabolic detail by Jesus (Matthew 20). Those who worked only one hour are paid a full day's wage in the face of those who worked all day. The owner of the vineyard invites them to celebrate his generosity. But they cannot take this path. The cling to their own entitlements. Jonah also fails in this challenge. He cannot accept God's generosity to the notorious Assyrians. His proud nationalism creates a prejudice where his hopes for Israel (who will surely be punished by a penitent Assyrian nation) that stands above a relenting, mercy extending God.

As I said last night, Jonah creates great issues of worship for us. We are challenged to faithfully accept that God's intentions for our lives, community, and world are far greater than our plans, perceptions, and prejudices for our context. We must adore and worship in spite of inability to understand or accept God's mercy and sovereign planning.

The hurricane's wake is a context that confronts us squarely with this test of worship. The injustice of poverty and the implications of that poverty in escaping the wrath of the storm, the horror or human loss, the obvious failures of our government, and the failures of the human spirit have dominated our viewing of this tragedy for the last week. How does this context include a merciful and sovereign God?

So many of you have described intense shame, guilt, and fear in the aftermath. How can we be free of such suffering when we clearly are not specimens of perfect humanity? We are participants in a world that creates such a great gulf of wealth and poverty. Where does our confidence lie - in the mercy of God or the powers of our government? How have our prejudices affected our viewing of this tragedy? Many of us have cringed as Christians have incredulously claimed this as act of God's judgment. Despite the humor of some Christian being in consensus with Al Queda, such foolish words are clear examples of moral and political prejudice dominating one's perspective.

Our journey of response to this event should a path of both spirtual reflection and urgent mission. We will be offering many opportunities for mission to our community. But I also want to post the prayer liturgies that we used last night as part of our response. The words of these prayers are taken from Richard Foster.

I offer these as liturgies of ADORATION (we must embrace God as merciful despite human tragedy), SUFFERING (we are called to come close to human suffering), TEARS (we are free to let tragedy touch our emotive core), EXAMEN (we must confront our shame and guilt in the wake of our world's injustice and the pain of others), INTERCESSION (we must let spiritual reflection motivate us to mission), and HEALING (our acceptance of a merciful God demands that we embrace the reality of God's intervention into the horrors of our world).

A LITURGY OF ADORATION
Most high, glorious God, it is love that calls forth my speech, though it still feels like stammering. I adore you. I worship you. I bow down before you. Thank you for your gifts of grace:
— the consistency of sunrise and sunset
— the wonder of colors
— the solace of voices I know.
I magnify you, Lord. In the name of him whose adoration never failed.

A LITURGY OF SUFFERING
O Holy Spirit of God, so many hurt today. Help me to stand with them in their suffering. My temptation is to offer quick prayer and send them off rather than endure with them the desolation of suffering. Show me the pathway into their pain.

A LITURGY OF TEARS
Gracious Jesus, it is easier for me to approach you with my mind than with my tears. I do not know how to pray from the emotive center of my life… Still, I come to you just as I am…Break my stony heart with the things that break your heart.

A LITURGY OF EXAMEN
Precious Savior, why do I fear your scrutiny? Yours is an examen of love. Still, I am afraid… afraid of what may surface. Even so, I invite you to search me to the depths so that I may know myself, and you, in fuller measure.

A LITURGY OF INTERCESSION
Gracious Holy Spirit, so much of my life seems to revolve around my interests and my welfare. I would like to live just one day in which everything I did benefited someone besides myself. Perhaps prayer for others is a starting point. Help me to do so without any need of praise or reward. In Jesus’ name. — Amen.

A LITURGY OF HEALING
My Lord and my God, I have a thousand arguments against healing prayer. You are the one argument for it… You win. Help me to be a conduit through which your healing love can flow to others. For Jesus’ sake. — Amen.

May these prayers challenge and dislodge our prejudices, shame, fear, and finite expectations of an infinite God. May these prayers guide us into mission. May these prayers give us new eyes for the needs of our own community.

Save Us - The Search for Generous Dialogue

Comments...

Overheard at "Bean Traders" - the coffeehouse that connects to my office:
"Some Christian just tried to save my soul. Don't those fools know they're the ones who need to be
saved!"

After the Derek Webb concert on our deck behind 9th St, Sam, one of the other tenants in the building and a practicing Hindu, asks...
"Was this a 'no pagans allowed' event?"

Tim's pithy reply...
"It was BYOP. I would have invited you, but I think I was already someone's guest!"

From the film "Saved" — Mary, a senior at American Eagle Christian High School, fearing that she's pregnant and hoping for another explanation for her morning sickness:
"Oh, please, please, let it be cancer!"

Also from the film "Saved" — Tia to Mary while inviting her to a prayer circle for Mary's boyfriend:
"I'm sorry about your boyfriend's faggotry."

That might have been the point when the film's dialogue went over the top. I don't know many teens who liberally use the terms "faggotry," "fornicators," and "perverts" like the in-crowd at American Eagle High School. Or do I? When our group watched this movie on Saturday night, many us freely admitted that we are expatriots from the school of harsh religious dialogue. "Saved" is stereotypical, overly stylized, and entirely predictable at times. But the humor and the power of the movie resides in its stereotypes and the frequency of these heinous offenses in the dialogue between church and culture in the present.

The reactions to the film were varied. A few were offended and felt the need to defend the portions of Christian theology that were manipulated or skewed. Others wondered if anyone was that self-righteous and hypocritical. Sadly, I would have to argue against the latter point. Most affirmed, with no small measure of disappointment the accuracy of many of the stereotypes of the film.

Saved is certainly a religious remake of the genre of teen comedy that made John Hughes famous. The outsiders become the insiders. The insiders are publicly punished for their transgressions. The morally self-righteous are shown to be at best inconsistent, at their worst morally bankrupt. Friendship is sufficient to overcome the injustices of the teen social world without challenging the sacred value of personal autonomy. And, of course, the "right" couples get together at the end.

For our viewing crew, we lamented the state of the dialogue between the Christian community and our culture - morally, socially, artistically, and politically. If anything, this teen spoof is one more reminder of the desperate need to fashion a new dialogue between these parties.

Several asked on Saturday evening what this dialogue would look like. I have many opinions on this.

•A new dialogue between Christians and our culture would have a strong sense of "shared place" and "sacred place." By shared space, I mean that we cannot see ourselves as the rightful owners of our cultural values and cultural idioms. This sense of ownership drives us to not only inhospitality to those with whom we disagree, but to intentional efforts to eradicate these voices. Often the church's language and posture with its surrounding culture is militaristic. We dream of beating our "adversaries" with the bare minimum of marginaliziong and colonizing those who don't admit defeat. A sense of sacred space would acknowlege own ideological space while also acknowledging the ideological space of others. Sacred space calls us act respectfully while in the living room of another. Stanley Hauerwas and others have written powerfully and persuasively that we should see ourselves as aliens and strangers in this land. Such a recognition frees us to authenticity in our space, respect in the space of others, and collaboration in shared space.

•This new dialogue should be driven by the collaboration of needs and urgencies that we find in the shared space of our world. We have so many shared needs - the environment, the global impact of poverty and injustice, human dignity, and primary human needs. The urgencies of the shared space are so great that it makes little sense to spend all of our time in arenas of philosphical/ideological disagreement.

•This new dialogue would blur the lines between "in" and "out" from the vantage point of the church. This boundary has always been the province of God yet we have appointed ourselves as exacting stewards of this decision. In reality, the lines are deeply blurred. This does not mean that one cannot have a sense of inclusion in God's community nor allow for the most obvious exclusions. But so much of our efforts in clear definition are idolatrous demands for definition and control.

•A new dialogue would affirm that neither God's voice nor God's love is not confined to that which we call "church."

•A new dialogue would not water down the essential path of following Christ or the essential realities of Jesus' way. On the contrary, this dialogue would free us up to express this path rather than to defend it against intruders.

•A new dialogue would be guided by hospitality, humility, the fearful acknowledgement of the limits of our understanding and abilities to make boundaries, activism on the essential needs of humanity, love for all of God's creation, striving to embody the characteristics of Yahweh and the fruits of God's Spirit, trust in God's sovereign ability to manage the story, and a worshipful thankfulness for being included in these plans.

Such a dialogue would merit the grand title of salvation.

"Saved"

I just saw last year's Christian parody, "Saved." Given my fundy/evangelical roots - a couple scenes provoked audible laughter and stoked numerous memories.

My favorite: The "Christian Jewels," the "A group" of sanctimonious, self-righteous girls at the American Eagle Christian School are enlisted by the Headmaster (Pastor Skip - every youth minister or former youth minister on the planet has to grimace with an ounce of confession at the portrayal of this character) to "arm themselves for spiritual battle" and intervene in the life of Mary, a wayward member of their "posse" (Pastor Skip again). It's Halloween, so the Jewels are dressed perfectly for the scene in fluffy, white angel's wings. The intervention includes a roadside abduction of Mary into their van for a quickee exorcism. Mary flees in a rage and reminds the "jewels" that they don't know anything about love. This prompts, Tammy- er, Hilary Faye, the group's leader, to throw her Bible into Mary's back while boldly claiming that she knows all about God's love.

Many of us watch real life encounters that mirror this caricature and ask with no small measure of sadness, "What prompts those of us who seek to follow God to behave so poorly at times?"

Last night at Emmaus Way, we reflected in worship on this very question. We have been reading the biblical story of Jacob. Two weeks ago, we explored the story's great moment of conversion - Jacob wrestles with God and finally accepts the blessing that God has intended for him even before his birth. He accepts the new name, "Israel," becoming the name-bearer of God's people on earth. The blessing is dramatically confirmed when he encounters his wronged brother Esau. Instead of receiving the vengeful death Esau has promised, Jacob receives a kiss from his brother and restoration to his home. If that episode was the moment of conversion and blessing, then last night's episode could be entitled, "After the Conversion."

The "After the Conversion" scene is one part tragedy and one part adult film horror story. For some reason, Jacob's caravan discontinues its journey to Bethel (literally "house of God," the place where Jacob first encountered Yahweh) and stops near a prosperous dwelling of Canaanites. In the melee that follows, Shechem, the most prominent son of the community takes Jacob's daughter, Dinah, and violates her. But he is so smitten with her that seeks to marry her at any bride price (the honorable act for any man who has violated a virgin during this era). Her brothers hatch a heinous plan of revenge. The Shechemites are told that they must be circumcised for the Israelites to consider this offer. Such is the influence of Shechem (and the greed of this people in light of Jacob's wealth) that the entire male community submits to circumcision. While the men are still in pain, Dinah's brothers, Simeon and Levi enter the village and slaughter all the men. In this moment of opportunity, the rest of Jacob's sons jump in and loot the community to their great gain.

This outrageous event finally prompts Jacob to speak. Strangely silent and passive to this point, he remarks about the shame brought upon him by Simeon and Levi. Finally God weighs in. Unconsulted, Yahweh demands that Jacob move on Bethel. A classic scene of repentence and renewal ensues. False gods are surrendered. Vows of worship are made. Memorials are constructed. But what does this season of penitence and worship mean for Jacob's tribe? Are they further blessed? Do they become free from pain and sin? Of course not. Jacob's beloved wife, Rachel, dies in childbirth. In a remarkable example of differing perspectives, she names the son she delivers as "Son of Pain." Jacob overrules with the name, "Son of Promise" (Benjamin"). These differing perspectives and names seems to summarize the essence of the life of those who seek to follow Yahweh, a vascillation between pain and promise.

As if to further accentuate this point, Reuben, Jacob's oldest, decides to sleep with Bilhah, one of his father's wives which draws the curtains on this whole shameful episode that was briefly interrupted by a revival!

There is much to comtemplate in this story. All of us who claim the name of Christ should see ourselves as heirs of Levi, Simeon, and Reuben. There is no room for sanctimonious proclamations in our lives. Or perphaps we should see ourselves as Jacob, passive observers to the vengeful plans of others. Either way, the text calls us to introspection, penitence, humility, and lives that are dependent of God's character and plans as our guide. Of course, this episode trumpets the hope of the whole story. God's grace, love, and redemptive plans are undeterred by the failures and hypocracies of those who seek to follow God.

The reality of failures does not alleviate our calling to embody God's character and grace with our lives. This story should provoke a striving toward this end by revealing the shameful potential that lies in the base of our souls. The story also stirs an acknowledgement that we often live between opposing poles of pain and promise. Embracing the promise involves embracing our potential for shameful deceit and treachery. The magnitude of this realization throws light on the magnitude of God's mercy.

The Church in Transition

I did FINALLY finish the manuscript for my book — "The Church in Transition: The Journey of the Existing Church into the Emerging Culture!"

Zondervan is publishing it and it should be out by Feb. 2006. Dan Allender wrote a wonderful foreword and many friends like Brian McLaren have written kind endorsements.

I have many modest hopes for the book. I certainly hope it will bring me into to dialogue with leaders and churches who are taking active steps to translate their ministry into the realities of the emerging culture. I also that that the book will confront some misunderstandings and establish some dialogical boundaries related to fearful conversations about the emerging church and its contribution to the future of the church.

I would also love for this book to reinforce the connections between theology and the practices of ministry in the emerging culture. I'm certainly not breaking new ground here. But this is a point that I believe needs to be continually reinforced. A point that I make in the book is that copying emerging culture ministry practices without exploration of the thought and theology behind these practices has all of the inauthenticity of a bad combover.

The timing of the book was very challenging. I had imagined taking a sabbatical to do the bulk of the writing. Instead, the first manuscript was written from December through April in the midst of the first months of Emmaus Way's existance and during a season when we managing a couple family health issues. But, in retrospect, the book is much better because of the dialogue leading up to launching Emmaus Way and the experiences of the first months of this community.

I'm thankful it is done and for the added space in my life. The risk in writing this felt considerable for me (putting into words my thoughts, critiques, and hopes for the church generated over the last couple decades) and thus I grew through it. Some of my thoughts are clearer. Questions that have persisted now catalyze even greater motivation for further exploration and study. Most of all, it was a true privilege to write this.

Bright Leaves

Durham, NC is a tobacco town. Bull Durham was a brand of tobacco long before it was the minor league baseball home of Javy Lopez, Joe Morgan, Andruw Jones, and so many other stars. There really was a "Crash" Davis — though I daresay that the fictional Crash played by Kevin Costner probably hit for more power. Everywhere you look in Durham, you see the evidence of the tobacco industry - huge, sprawling warehouses, fading advertisements on falling buildings, and the Gothic spires of Duke University built with the tobacco fortunes of the Duke family. Even the renewal that graces our city bears the mark (or stain) of tobacco - Brightleaf Square, the American Tobacco Amphitheatre (a beautiful downtown shopping/dining venue on the property of the largest Duke family warehouse), the American Tobacco Mueseum, the Tobacco trail that winds through Durham county, and the spacious downtown flats in formerly vacant tobacco industry buildings.

"Bright Leaves" is a remarkable documentary that seeks to come to grips with our local history. Filmmaker Ross McElwee has created an autobiographical narrative that searches for his own legacy in tobacco-stained history and economy of North Carolina. McElwee's great grandfather actually developed the "Bull Durham" brand, accumulating great wealth from the product only to see this brand wrested from him in a series of court struggles by the infamously ruthless Duke family. McElwee presents this legend and his own ambiguous feelings about his heritage with a series of humorous images. The Duke mansion is contrasted with the asphault parking lot that now stands on the site of his great grandfather's former stately home. Images of the beautiful parks and Duke Forest that are the philanthropic gifts of the Dukes to our community are compared to McElwee Park in Salisbury, NC — a couple of benches in front of deteriorating building! As he films the vast imprints of the Duke fortune, McElwee wonders aloud, with a tongue-in-cheek wistfulness, saying "All this could have been mine!"

The film also includes clever and arbitrary insertions of his family life in Boston, haunting scenes chronicling the horrific consequences of tobacco addiction, and scenes from the 1934 Gary Cooper film "Bright Leaves" which is inspired by the epic McElwee-Duke struggle. As the historical portrait widens, a distinct irony emerges. The Duke family funds the development of Duke Medical School and the world class Duke Medical Center. The next generations of the McElwee family become doctors and surgeons with an occasional filmmaker thrown in. McElwee jokes that both these families mastered the essence of capitalism, creating the "perfect" product - a product that creates an incessant demand and also creates corrollary needs such as medical treatment. Talk about working both sides of the fence.

For Christians, the film offers several disturbing, challenging, and honest portraits. We see the awe-inspiring Duke Chapel built with tobacco money. From all over Durham, one can sees its heavenly oriented spires. Yet it was also built as a mausoleum of the Washington Duke and James B. Duke. Other images include tobacco farmers whose fields surround their places of worship. One devout farmer expresses both his and his pastor's discomfort with the subject. For Southerners, particularly North Carolinians, we have long struggled with the collision of the addictions of a tobacco economy and the potential liberations of Jesus' gospel. McElwee editing of church services, gospel music backgrounds, and scenes of addiction or disease related to cancer probes this comfort and challenges our historical silence. My rural Baptist upbringing often came to mind as I watched. I have vivid memories of strong moral judgments on dancing, alcohol, divorce, and contemporary music made by cigarette smoking Deacons.

But the film's theme transcended even the moral dilemma of tobacco. McElwee expresses a deep love for North Carolina and its beauties. Our mountains, beaches, and rolling hills fill the scenes of his narrative. The hospitality and warmth of our citizens are constantly evident. This film is about the search for a legacy and the painful work required to come to grips with the moral complexities of one's personal story. Our search for legacies always transcend simple portraits of good and evil. McElwee eventually realizes that the character played by the heroic Gary Cooper in Hollywood's version of "Bright Leaves" combines the traits of his great-grandfather AND James B. Duke. His exploration of family narrative does not sustain neither a villification of the Dukes nor a wistful martyrdom of his own family.

I was constantly reminded of a great Biblical narrative as I enjoyed this documentary. The Old Testament story of Jacob also explores these same themes of a stolen birthright, deceptive and unjust economic gain, and the difficult challenge of coming home in the midst of such legacies. Jacob's journeys in the Bible includes both a great flight from home and a bold, brash return. In the second half of Jacob's story, he courageously faces his legacy and travels back to Bethel, a sacred place where he encountered God but sadly did not know it. Our own confrontations with our pasts often takes this form — deception, flight, penitent insight, renewal, and courageous re-engagement with not only our own stories but God's redemptive presence in even the worst of our stories.

In "Bright Leaves," McElwee returns home and finds his own legacy. He is honest with the residuals of his family's association with tobacco and their redemptive responses to this stain. In the midst of his clever contrasts with the fates of the McElwee's and the Duke's, he explores meanings that go far beyond wealth, power, disease, and death.

The Mystery of an Unconfined God

I think we spend huge amounts of theological/reflective energy on the illogical task of confining God. If God is truly God — living to the full realization of that job description including the omnipotent and self-actualized parts — then being confined does not seem to be a realistic option. Nonetheless, we (I'm certainly included myself in this category) work hard bind the omnipotent and define the self-defined. Of course, if we ever succeed at this task, then we have undermined the whole purpose and premise of having a God in the first place.

Our worship and dialogue at Emmaus Way on Sunday meandered down the path of how God fails to fulfill our hopes, expectations, and categories. We are reading the narrative of Jacob in Genesis that seems to raise this issue endlessly. What is it with God's choice to bless Jacob over Esau as the father of God's covenant people? The prediction that the younger would rule over the older twin seems straightforward enough. Sometimes it works out that way. But when God's intent seems to be enacted by the treachery and lies of a dysfunctional family, I stir with discomfort. There are at least a score of ways that I want God to intervene in this story — but here come my expectations again! I'm once again on the precipice of confining God to a job description (one of my choosing, of course).

With both my years of seminary training and long years of church association, I'm well trained to handle these divine inconsistencies. Isn't the answer and resolution to God's odd choices and job failures alway that which is NOT recorded in the text? If we just had the whole story, it would all make sense. No such luck here. Paul, in the New Testament, cuts off our escape route with some very intentional theology written about this exact situation (no slippery metaphors to apply). In Romans 9, Paul explains God's preference for Jacob as merely that — a preference and a choice. I can hear the footsteps of the Reformed theology of my formal education gaining on me!

Paul's quotes God's heart on this choice of the younger twin — a young man who goes on to fill a rap sheet with deceits and manipulations — “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” Paul then adds his own unambiguous clincher, "It does not, therefore, depend on man’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy." There seems to be no unrecorded narrative of character failure for Esau or redeeming qualities in Jacob that make the odd choice appropriated by horrific deceit more palatable. God simply doesn't do it the way I would.

This seems to summarize my long experience as a follower of Jesus and worshipper of Yahweh. God just doesn't follow my blueprint. God seems to follow a personal script. Imagine that! — an omnipotent being following a personal path! This personal script is nonethless frustrating and often seemingly painful for me. God hasn't healed all the people I pray for. Opportunities have slipped through my fingers. Some relationships remain in tatters. Some events are unjustifyably painful. Come on God! And this is just the selfish stuff. Occasionally even I lift my gaze from my stuff and my needs to the injustices of our world. Where are you God?

Don't hold your breath for simple ladder out of this deep hole. As a "professional Christian," I have more than a few responses to the theological dilemmas of an unresponsive God and a God that doesn't fulfill my expectations. But let's not go there. These answers are rarely satisfying (if ever) when I face frustration or hardship. These "answers" still nag me in the theoretical as well.

Oh, it is not that we can't make some statements about God's intentions and plans. I'm ecstatic that God doesn't work on a model of absolute justice — I don't think that I would fare well in such a system. Hence, we come to a preppositon that I hold dearly about God. I realize that this assumption is not universally shared. But I believe in a good and merciful God even the circumstances challenge the assumption. The punch line to Paul's comment quoted earlier is that key factor in God's choices and interventions is not human effort. The fulcrum is God's mercy. My intellect, heart, and confusion rests on the conviction of a merciful God.

What that means in every circumstance — I do not know or I do not see clearly. But, as we discussed on Sunday evening, the mysteries of an unconfined God can drive us to be people of despair — or — worshippers. The mystery of realities beyond our intellect and the existence of circumstances that defy our sensibilities can drive us to worship and cling to a merciful God. Mystery, pain, and yearning are all potential catalysts to worship. The spiritual path before us is rarely a path of understanding and certainly. More often, it is a trail of nuance, discomfort, and relentless trust. There is surely adventure, hope, and joy on such trails. There are few vistas where the whole landscape is visible and knowable.

EmmausWay.net

The Emmaus Way community website is up at EmmausWay.net! Many thanks to Ben Thole and Steven Nicholson for their hard work and creative efforts on this site.

The Relational Fabric of Faith

In our community gathering last night at Emmaus Way, we began a summer reading and discussion of the Biblical story of Jacob (roughly Gen 25-36).

Over the years, I have become more and more sensitive to the reality that I don't have "a personal relationship with God" in the sense that I would have connection to God that is mine or exclusive from a vast network of relational experiences and realities that make up my life. My conceptions of God, pursuits of the divine, and my most humble or desperate prayers have been shaped by 43 years of life experiences. And, of course, my short years on earth are but a small part of long relational, familial legacies that stretch over decades and through the centuries.

For example, when I read the story of Jacob, my hearing of the story is shaped by a fear of abandoment which is the honest legacy of a child who lost a parent early in life (How did Jacob feel when he was forced to flee from his home and homeland?). And as I read this story, I also realize that I am reading the narrative of my own spiritual family. Those of us who seek to follow the way of Jesus realize that we (like others) trace our own familial narrative to the people God formed from Abraham's lineage. I see the same patterns of deceit, competition, jealousy, and lack of graciousness in my recent family narrative as I see in the strange journeys of Jacob and his family. And, of course, I also see patterns of redemption and hope in both of my families.

Our hope this summer is to read this narrative from the lens of our own familial experiences and also have that reading deeply enhanced by listening carefully to the stories of others.

Last night, Mimi led us through a meaningful exercise of familial mapping. The idea came from the Cornucopia House, a local non-profit that supports cancer patients and their caregivers. Mimi enjoyed several visits to this community as she cared for her mom this winter and spring. The exercise calls for the creation of a collage of images, words, and art that describe your family-of-origin and current experiences in relationship with others. The collage that she made has been prominently displayed on the great suburban art gallery, also known as the refrigerator, for some time. The meaningfulness of these symbols has only increased with time. I can only conclude that there is something sacred in expressing one's story — this is indeed the canvas that God works on.

So last night, we discussed and inquired our way through the bizarre realities of Jacob's family background —
• A grandfather (Abraham) who allowed his wife, deceitfully identified as his sister, to be taken into the Pharoah's harem rather than run the personal risk of living in a foreign land with a beautiful wife.
• A repetition of this same pretense by his son (Isaac, Jacob's father) and a growing legacy of deceit throughout the whole family
• Bitter competitions among family members for wells, grazing rights, birthrights, and honor with the family.
• The bitter juxtapostiion of great promises of family expansion and the common experiences of infertility among the key women in the story
• The difficult to read theme of inappropriate (?) favoritism in the family that in some way corresponds to some form of redemptive favoritism expressed by God. How does one understand this?

As we explored our own families, no one could claim a dysfunction that far exceeded the strange narrative of Jacob's family.

We look forward to a continued exploration of this story. Next week we'll move into a scene of unparalled deceit as Jacob and his mother conspire together to steal the prophetic blessing his father intends for his older twin, Esau (Genesis 27).

The relational nature of faith of seems very obvious in this story and subsequent dialogue. Our journeys with and from God are so significantly marked by the presence of others.

"No, Thank-You!"

I'm just back from the Emergent Leadership Retreat in Northern Minnesota. For those following Emergent, there will be a series of communiques and press releases about continued structural development coming out very soon at emergentvilage.com and various other outlets. Emergent continues to adapt and develop with each new stage of the journey. Even with the realities of structures and organizations, I continue to marvel at (and relish) the friendship and spiritual intimacy of this leadership community. Thanks to Tony Jones for great hospitality. Susie Albert Miller is a new friend. She overflows with significant thoughts and blessings. Brian McLaren's stories about the growing interest in Emergent, a new paradigm of Christian community and politics in America, and the acclerating stream of post-Colonial Christianity around the world are overwhelmingly hopeful.

Isn't it a divine right to complain about airline and travel woes — If so, here's mine.
- One trip, but three airline tickets purchased on three different airlines (cancelled flight in Atlanta connection, new ticket to make meeting, missed flight on return, new ticket, weather cancellation of new flight forcing next day rebooking!)
- With three airlines and two one-way ticket purchased, I think I was flagged as the security risk of the day!

Every joke I've heard about "nice Minnesota" expresses what appears to be an indisputable FACT — they are so nice in Minnesota. On route to Tony's cabin, we stopped for some groceries. Grabbing the bag, I muttered a quick "thank-you." The clerk, stopped, turned around, made intentional eye contact, and then exclaimed with about as much passion as I use when watching a Carolina basketball player finish off a monster dunk — "NO, THANK-YOU!"

Esau's Kiss

Summary of a sermon series concluded this week at the Chapel Hill Bible Church

This morning, at the Chapel Hill Bible Church, we finished a two week discussion on shame, shame-management, face-covering, flight from God's presence (or face), and the nature of God's embrace and redemption of humanity.

The narrative covered several facing events in the life Jacob —
• Disguised face, steals his brother's blessing
• Facing event, in a vision at Bethel, he is in the face/presence of God and does not know it
• Community shame, the covering of his bride (an expected custom) used as an act of shame to break a contract and to deceive Jacob into marrying the wrong sister

Then, a great foreshadowinging event of facing —
• Jacob wrestles with a divine being and receives his prophetic blessing. He names the location of the struggle, "Peniel" or "Face" because he entered the presence or face of God.

Finally, a fulfillment event in the narrative
• He encounters his wronged brother with an army of men
• Jacob, embracing his shame, "lowers his face" to ground seven times
• But Esau "lifts up his face" and "kisses his face" — a dramatic moment of experiencing redemption from his shame.

The whole Biblical narrative of shame, anticipation of redemption, the experience of redemption, and the working out of this redemption is dramatized in this story.

A question emerges from this story — how can we embody redemption rather than shame as a community. I think a portion of the answer lies in the Eucharist — being a community that retells the narrative and embodies the story of redemption through a ritual that reforms and reshapes our living. For me, this story challenges me to to rethink a theology and the practice of Eucharist.

I also have felt the need to challenge our view of sin — an embrace of sin should motivate a yearning for the embrace of the redemptive, shame-liberated life. Three failed or dreadly incomplete views of sin (failed because they do not great an anticipation for the rituals and life of redemption).
• The "personal guilt" view — very modern, the product of an over-individualized culture, sin is about the guilt of my self-contained actions of the specific wrongs done to me! (envisions a redemption of a single and simple verdict)
• The "tumor" view — very modern, the product of materialism, sin is an evil substance living in me, (envisions a redemption that is a surgical intervention by trained professionals without an real collateral damage in my life)
• The "Heinous Act" view — largely postmodern, a view that only embrace horrific acts that we would never consider in the first place, the product of a contextual, preference driven culture (envisions a redemption of simple avoidance)

But, if we see the shame of humanity as a relational, contagious, viral, pandemic of the human condition — this anticipates a redemption of shame and guilt that is social, holistic, pervasive (to all of creation) and is practiced in social ritual and relationship/community rather than received in personal decisions, individual commitments, and private rituals.

I think a transformation of our understanding of shame and the human condition reforms our theology and reshapes our communal and ritual lives.

Strawberries...

My fingers are still a bit stained with the juice from huge, ripe strawberries...

About 30 adults and children from the Emmaus Way community and various friends spent the morning in Dunn, NC gleaning the last of the strawberries from a field about to be plowed under for the next planting. We picked about 500 lbs., the load of two pick-up trucks. The recipients of our efforts will be a home of senior citizens on marginal, fixed incomes in Louisburg and a couple of relief agencies in Durham.

It was a pleasure and a privilege to live out the Leviticus directive of gleaning with such a diverse community - the many kids present with us truly embraced this idea and many were far more skilled (or nimble I should say) in picking berries.

Of course we picked and bought many strawberries home, all promises of future margarita's, Jenny :), strawberry homemade ice cream (tomorrow at Emmaus Way's picnic on the deck at 9th St thanks to Mimi!!), pies and various desserts — a convicting and compelling juxtapostion of plenty (our plenty and the literally thousands and thousands of pounds of berries that rot on the vine) and the hunger of many around us.

A great morning...

Revenge of the Sith

I finally got to see the final episode of the Star Wars trilogy last night. My kids, Keenan (rising 5th grade) and Kendall (rising 3rd grade), had been begging since it opened to see it. Watching a film with your kids is a very informative and challenging context — a new context for me (we just haven't gone to many movies as a family) that offers a whole new perspective on message and delivery.

My kids alternated between engrossed, overwhelmed, and even impatient with the intense action and battle scenes. Seems that you can only see so much of multi-dimensional, high speed, spacecraft chases and battles before the point becomes redundant — "Anikan and/or Obi Wan are in big trouble and it will take a heroic effort to get out of this situation." But they were deeply engaged by the drama, betrayal, and good vs. evil themes. The great narratives of life seem to grab us, whether portrayed poorly or skillfully. One of the best parts of the experience was our conversations of these themes on the way home — why one who knows good chooses evil, the fine line between love and betrayal, the fine line between trust in a community, taking responsibility, and autonomous foolishness. We used a different language, but my kids really got these points. It was fun to translate these themes into their world of experiences and understanding. And, of course, they loved the epic light saber duels on high places above tumult and ruin! And they loved, as both would put it, "not so much mushy-mush!"

I felt like Anikan's journey to the dark side merited 500 pages in a novel or its own trilogy in film. It is so hard to compress complex journeys into a medium like an action movie.

George Lucas has often commented in interviews about his use of color in these movies —
•A New Hope — dominated by the desert sand, tans, and browns of Luke's home
•Empire Strikes Back — white ice and snow, white clouds, and the murky slime of Yoda's exile
•Return of the Jedi — the deep greens of Endor

The deep, fiery reds of Revenge where breathtaking to me — warfare, fiery explosions, red sunsets, the fire of the Jedi temple, and the apocalyptic scene of Vader's battle with Obi Wan in the midst of a volcanic meltdown. This color conveyed the level of rage, evil, horror, and imminent collapse of an era found in the story.

I want to be friends with the wookies. Everyone needs — huge, furry, not overly conversant, intensely loyal, clever, and utterly fearsome to enemies — companions in life.

By no means was this a "perfect movie." But I thoroughly enjoyed it and will see it again. I'm a very willing consumer for grand stories of betrayal, redemption, and hope.

Emmaus Way — Mission

I'm continuing to post about some of the values of Emmaus Way. Many are following the evolution of this community in this space (BTW — our website will be up in 2 weeks!). Apologies to those of you who find these thoughts on mission as rudimentary. Only my creation of consolidation of this material into the specific categories is even remotely original. For those of you who are just getting acquainted with the concept of missional community (I had a great conversation with a new friend and local pastor who is courageously redefining the ministry of his very traditional/denominational church along these lines on Tuesday!) — I would recommend two books as thoughtful entries points —

The Church Between Gospel and Culture edited by George Hunsberger
The Continuing Conversion of the Church by Darrel Guder

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“Mission” at Emmaus Way

Mission defines the soul of Emmaus Way. It guides our community formation and is the heart of our worship.

George Hunsberger and the GOCN network in last decade coined the phrase “missional church.” This new use of a familiar term stands as a correction and a challenge to current trends in many churches and Christian communities. In recent decades, the individualism and consumerism of our culture has become embedded in church life. Many churches have found themselves in the business of providing religious services and programs to Christian consumers. In this environment, churches have found themselves in a competitive posture with other faith communities, seeking to grow and win a greater “market share by providing programs that meet the needs and demands of potential attendees.

In contrast, the missional church seeks to encourage and empower its community to participate in God’s agenda. Attention is spent in discerning God’s agenda and mobilizing resources to participate in this agenda. Missional churches and communities seek to collaborate rather than to compete with a diversity of other fellowships. We are inspired by this vision of church.

When we speak specifically of mission, several passions come to mind:
• Breaking out of the rut or reduction of mission solely as evangelism in international settings accomplished by highly trained Christian “heroes” — the mission we hope to describe and embody is mission as a way of life for all who seek to follow the path of Christ. All of our life contexts are places of mission. Local initiatives will be valued as much as international ministries.
• Valuing God’s present kingdom as much at God’s eternal kingdom — Jesus spoke regularly of an immediate kingdom as well as a future kingdom. We will seek to follow Jesus’ teachings and to embody the spirit of his kingdom in our present time and context as well as to eagerly await the completion of God’s gracious redemption of creation.
• Having a cultural frame of reference that extends beyond that of affluent, western culture — so much of the church’s mission has been done from a western cultural perspective. We deeply desire to listen to and learn from other cultures and communities as we serve. To do this, we will try to form a diversity of ministry partnerships that challenge and stretch us. We will also seek to practice a “ministry of presence,” coming near those in different contexts as learners rather than problem-solvers. This will be particularly true for the poor, wounded, and dying who have so much to teach us about the reality of God’s vision and values.

Our desire is that missional way of life will shape our acts of community formation. In forming community, several missional values will stand at the forefront:
• Missional Diversity: Forming a diverse community that challenges us beyond our experiences and understandings of God.
• Missional Dependence: Living interconnected lives confronts the lonely individualism and self-reliance of our culture.
• Missional Proximity — Having a strong sense of “place” and living intentionally with the needs and issues of our community in mind.

Gleaning

Lev. 19:9-10 “‘When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them for the poor and the alien. I am the LORD your God.

Yahweh made many provisions for the poor, hungry, and downtrodden in legal codes and practices of Israel. One such provision included leaving some of the harvest to be collected by the poor and hungry.

This Saturday, the Emmaus Way community in observation of National Hunger Awareness Day (June 7) and as a practice to further our discussion on relational, cultural, and divine hospitality has the privilege of gleaning fields for the hungry in Durham. We're heading to Bunn, NC (about 75 minutes from Durham) to pick strawberries for hunger relief agencies in Durham. If you're local and want to participate, email us at and we'll get the essential information to you!

We'll we working with the Society of St. Andrew which organizes field gleanings all over the nation. Their website is .

From their website:
Gleaning is the Biblical practice of hand-gathering crops left in the fields after harvest.  We coordinate volunteers, growers, and distribution agencies to provide food for hungry people through gleaning. The salvaged produce is taken to local food distribution centers. Each year more than 20,000 volunteers participate in our gleaning events .

Did you know:
Americans spend $25 billion on candy each year (according to www.candyusa.org). If each American contributed the cost of one 50cent candy bar each year, all 36 million Americans living with "food insecurity" would be provided with a serving of food every day.

A full-time minimum-wage worker cannot afford to pay the fair market rent for a two-bedroom unit anywhere in America. (According to The National LowIncome Housing Coalition)

Jacob's Shame (Sermon Blog)

For the next couple Sundays, I'm guest speaking at the Chapel Hill Bible Church. I want to thank LeRon Shults (theology prof at Bethel Seminary) and Kara Eckman Powell (Fuller Seminary) for their excellent presentations at the Emergent Conventions this year on humanity. Their work on the theology of humanity conveyed in concepts of "face" and "facing" inspired this short series on Jacob.

A short summary of Kara's and LeRon's presentation:
• Much of the human experience is shaped by the faces of others. The human experience is also characterized by shame — we cover our faces because of our shame.
• The biblical narrative "face" and the "covering of our faces" takes on a grave theological significance. "Face" not only is used to express human emotion (for example: the biblical phrase for "joy" is literally "shining face), "face" also conveys relational encounters. The Hebrew word for "face" is also the theologically loaded word "presence" used regularly to describe the presence of Yahweh and human encounters with Yahweh.
• The covering our faces reveals the viral presence of sin our lives and community — we hide ourselves from God and from the presence of God in community. (Shame, of course, is experienced in community).

I strongly recommend getting their presentation from youthspecialties.com or emergentconvention.com. I'm just giving you a taste. Their words on the relationality of sin is a deeply provocative portion of theology that has been lost in our very individualized culture. The implications for baptism (a rite of initation into redeemed community) and eucharist (the repetitive practice of uncovering our faces to each other in affirming and accepting God's "face" or "presence" are huge in this concept. LeRon and Kara do a great job in exploring these possibilities.

I'm my sermons, I'm exploring these themes through the story of Jacob and his narrative of face covering. Note these incidents —
• Jacob disquises himself to steal his brother Esau's blessing. This, naturally, enrages Esau and Jacob must flee in the night to save his life.
• In his great dream, Jacob in his shame is blind to a facing event. At Bethel, the presence or face of God is revealed to Jacob but he proclaims his own shame and blindness with some of the most tragic words of the OT, "surely God was in this place and I didn't know it!"
• The bizarre wedding scene where he marries Leah rather than the intended Rachel. As was the custom, the face of the bride was covered during the ceremony. As Jacob goes to consummate the marriage, he finds that he has been tricked by Laban (the father of these two women). Face-covering in this scene reveals the treachery and dishonesty of all of humanity.
• The Jacob story is a narrative of two journeys — a shameful journey from home and a forced journey to home, to the place of Esau's angry face and the places (specifically Bethel) where Jacob has encountered the face of God.
• As foreshadowing of the presence of God, just before reaching Esau, Jacob encounters angels. Jacob names this place "the camp of God" (a place where God stops by on occassion?).
• As he sends his family and gifts ahead to appease Esau, Jacob wrestles with a divine figure. At daybreak, Jacob demands a blessing (literally "show me your face"). The blessing that Yahweh has always intended for Jacob is given. Jacob names this place, "Peniel" or "Face" because he has encountered the presence of God and survived.

It is a great story, an "everywoman" and "everyman" story of our fleeing in shame from the face or presence of God. Next week, I'm going to continue the story by looking at "Esau's kiss" — an event laden with divine eradication of shame and typology of Jesus.

For those who heard me today, feel free to use the comments here to share a story or a thought. The covering of our faces in a universal human experience. Freedom from shame comes in community that follows the journey of Christ.

Emmaus Way

OK, I admit, I have been the poster-child of a blogworld AWOL...

This winter/spring has been filled with so many gracious and challenging events —

• Finishing a manuscript for Zondervan: "The Church in Transition: The Journey of the Existing Church into the Emerging Culture" (it will be out in Jan 2006)
• Getting approval for our emerging culture initative that has developed into a missional community/church plant in Durham, NC and beginning the development of this community that we now call "Emmaus Way"
• Managing a health scare in our family. For those who know, my wife Mimi had a tumor on her thyroid removed last month. Graciously, it was mostly benign and she has a great prognosis!

But I'm back....

I want to post over the next few days about the values of our mission, Emmaus Way and describe a bit more of the story of this community. As many know, our dream is forge a community that embodies the life of Jesus in our postmodern world and relates with intentionality to an existing church (the Chapel Hill Bible Church which has gracious funded this effort). We seek to be a community that continues to learn from the historical church while also acting as a scout for the church as begins to collide with the emerging culture.

“Community” at Emmaus Way
“Community” has become one of the most overused words in our vocabulary — we use it to refer to almost every form of relationship and association in our culture. Some common uses of “community” include “people who are like me or agree with me,” “persons who help me accomplish my goals,” or simply “times when I’m comfortable around others.”

When we dream of community at Emmaus Way, we seek an embodiment of relationships that challenges some of our culture’s comfortable reductions of community and seeks to express Christian community with honesty and humility in a vastly changed culture.

Our understanding of community has been forged in our passion for and exploration of hospitality. Henri Nouwen, one of the great voices of Christian spirituality in the 20th Century, defined hospitality as the radical combination of “receptivity” (being truly open to the presence of others on their own terms) and “honesty” (being vulnerable, humble, and authentic with one’s own heart and perspective). So many times in Christian community, one of these poles of hospitality is practiced without the other!

Several extensions of hospitality have become passions and goals for our community:
• Divine Hospitality: Being a community that is open to the presence and God on God’s terms and agendas…Being shaped by spiritual practices that enhance our ability to hear God’s voice.
• Relational Hospitality: Living with kindness in all our relationships.
• Cultural Hospitality: Recognizing that God speaks outside of our overly delineated notions of the sacred and secular…Listening for God’s voice outside of the church and throughout the cultures that surround us…Worshipping God as Creator by acknowledging that our whole world is created and loved by God…Learning from other cultures and expressions of Christianity…Seeking and honoring the beauty around us.
• Communicational Hospitality: Practicing and valuing the art of dialogue…Learning by listening
• Environmental Hospitality: Loving and protecting all of God’s creation.

The greatest teacher and embodiment of hospitality was Jesus. He defied the norms of his day by inviting cultural aliens and his own people, “sinners” and “the righteous,” scholars and the uneducated, paupers and princes, and women and men into his friendship and the embrace of God. We hope to practice the way of Jesus in all of our relationships.

Our name, Emmaus Way, comes from a scene of hospitality extended in the narrative of Jesus’ life. It is an Easter story. On the day of Jesus’ resurrection, two of Jesus’ disciples traveled the road to Emmaus. With lingering sadness and incredulity at the reports of Jesus’ resurrection, they were joined by Jesus himself. Despite his rebuke of their lack of faith (hadn’t he promised them personally that he would rise from the grave) and extensive explanation of the Jewish Scriptures, they still do not recognize him. As the day wanes and they reach their destination, the stranger appears to be intent to travel on into the night. Graciously, they invite the man who has rebuked and taught them in for the evening. While breaking bread and pouring wine in an event that recalls the last supper and anticipates the Christian practice of Eucharist, Jesus is revealed them. Though Jesus’ teachings were not lost (some scholars teach that the core of the New Testament was revealed in Jesus’ traveling explanation to these men), it was an act of hospitality that yielded recognition of the risen Christ. At Emmaus Way, we seek to embrace and practice the tradition of this narrative in our acts of community.

San Diego

I'm back from San Diego and last week's Emergent Convention. This will be the last convention done in partnership with Youth Specialties. Emergent, though, is already working to develop an national event for 2006. Our hope is to create a gathering that is broad in its interests (possibly consecutive events including theological dialogue, reunion, festival, and more) on a different economic model (read: "cheaper"). I think YS is to be thanked for partnering on this national event for the past several years. We were reticent at the onset for a such an event. In retrospect, the conventions have widened the conversation and served as entry point for so many. I would like to write over the next few days about some reflections from this event.

First — the interview — Larry King Live on Tuesday evening!

Brian McLaren, a friend and leading voice of Emergent, was asked to join Franklin Graham (Samaritans' Purse), Tim and Beverly LaHaye (of "Left Behind" fame), and T.D. Jakes on Larry King's show. All had been selected by Time mag. as among the 25 most influential Evangelicals in the country (cover story last week of January).

Brian deemed the interview "dismal" but I would object. Brian, as usual, was a voice of kindness, reflection, and gentle inclusion. He demonstrated the heart of the Christian way in his tenderness in questions related to homosexuality. He also was a prophetic voice in regards to the war in Iraq and the environment. I speak often here in Chapel Hill/Durham about our need to broaden the gospel beyond simple reductions. Brian exhibited this passion for a large gospel that embraces both a present and future kingdom in his admittedly marginalized contribution to the interview. Brian has taught us so much about missional Christianity.

Brian's role was marginalized because the LaHaye's provided some good and controversial theatre. Larry King continually probed at their answers. Perhaps their most unfortunate comment came as defense to the accusation that Evangelicals are unconcerned with the environment. Tim's response was the belief that the environment was created for "us" (presumably humanity). I would protest that this is gross misunderstanding of the creation narrative. I believe that God created, humanity and all of creation, as entities to exist in worshipful intimacy with a loving Creator. The charge to humanity is to lead, organize, protect, and redeem creation in its relationship with God. God certainly desire to redeem all of creation. Tim LaHaye's "Left Behind" series has attracted millions and millions of readers. I know of some who have been drawn toward God from these works and few others who have been horrified by them. I certainly don't want to disparage his voice or role in the Christian community. But I would strongly disagree on these comments related to the environment. The the Christian community needs to be a strong voice in environmentalism. Our theology of creation demands it.

Franklin Graham's answer to most questions was a brief synopsis of the Evangelical core message of personal salvation with God received through personal faith. I certainly agree with these comments. The challenge is that his repetition of this point, regardless of the question, threatened to reduce the gospel to simply personal salvation. The gospel includes but is so much larger than simply personal salvation. In fact, the salvation God offers is hardly personal. It is much better. We are invited to be in relationship with a God who is a triune community and through this relationship are brought into reconciled relationship with the community who worships God and all of God's creation that is being redeemed. The reduction of the gospel to merely personal salvation is what produces comments like LaHaye's and the belief that God's work is "all about us!"

This national, primetime interview reminds us of a significant challenge. This challenge is to be careful that the Christian community is not overrepresented or caricatured through just a few voices. The way of hope taught and lived by Jesus extends beyond our most careful and clever words. Christian community needs to be a widening conversation of voices. We need to embody the story of God's redemption in community life that describes this reality far better than our words. This is one of the greatest opportunities of the emerging church — to liberate the gospel from the trenches dug by liberalism and fundamentalism and to free the gospel from the highly individualistic and consumeristic expectations of American culture.

More on San Diego soon. I would like to continue this conversation on God's saving work. I have some recommendations from a few seminars on the saving work of God that is titled "the Atonement" in classical theological language.

New Blog

Emergent-US has created a new blog (emergent-us.typepad.com). I highly recommend it. I believe it will be an excellent corner pub for new friendships and conversation regarding the emerging church and culture. I will post there as well. Today, I'll be redundant and republish my post for emergent here!

Weather Report

I’m watching the weather today…

I’m writing from the Outer Banks of NC, a soul place for me. These long barrier islands are typically about 3/4 mile wide bordered by the Atlantic Ocean on the East and one of NC’s large sounds on the West.

To truly love the Outer Banks, you have to love high wind and rapidly changing weather. This morning, I’m watching that big line of storms and cold weather that has crossed the U.S. this week creating havoc literally race across the Currituck Sound toward me. In the last hour — the sun has disappeared, the temperature has dropped twenty degrees, the wind has changed direction from due South to due North and has picked to gusts of about 40mph, and the rain is now pelting down. Just an hour ago, it was sunny and 60 degrees…

When I’m out here, I often meditate on change. The weather certainly makes the thought inevitable. This week particularly — I’m out here writing about transition in the church in our culture, reading emails from friends describing changes in their vision and hopes, and experiencing fundamental shifts in my own vocation at home. My Myers-Briggs temperament tells me I’m change-averse. But I can hardly quantify how enthusiastic I am about the many changes I’m experiencing and observing.

On a larger scope, I opened my email this morning to a couple letters from church leaders who are comprehensively rethinking their community expression of the Christian way. There are so many negatives that can be said of the church in our culture. But I’m hopeful. It is exciting to watch communities and leaders challenge the notions of church as program or isolated community and the gospel as commodity or a security blanket. As Jason Clark wrote recently on planetemergent.org, “emergent is not the emerging church.” So true. But it has been a real privilege to be part of one of the catalysts for these changes.

I’m also hopeful and excited about the many transitions of Emergent these last few months. The transition from a coordinating team to growing community of contributors and friends expresses our heart. We so desire this to be an open friendship and an open conversation shaped and bounded by a rule of community rather than organizational boundaries. If you desire to join in and contribute, please do so. There’s room for you.

I’m also enthusiastic to watch local learning communities and cohorts begin to take off around the country. We’ve long desired for local expressions of emergent to grow. Geoff Holsclaw is leading a strong team of folks (Rick Bennett, Andrea Summers, Mike King, Laci Scott) to continue to develop these expressions. Over the last few months, we’ve seen new conversations develop in Atlanta, Raleigh-Durham, Miami, Nashville, and several other locations.

I also want to add my thanks to Will Samson for his tireless efforts in starting this blog and his work on the emergent website. These projects certainly fit the category of positive transitions.

Well — the rain out here has just “gone horizontal.” I can barely see the house next door. You gotta just love Outer Banks weather. But according to the weather channel, it will moderate in just a few hours (at least I’m not in Minneapolis, 14 below, sorry Doug…)

Tim Conder

Remembering Ignatius

I'm out East in Duck, NC (on the Outer Banks) — one of the most beautiful places in country and a soul place for me for a few days of thinking, praying, and writing.

Eight years ago our family took a wonderful fall sabbatical here. This afternoon as I ran and watched the sun set over the Currituck Sound (this is one of those rare East coast locales where the sun sets over water!), the vivid and blessed memories of this time came freely back to my consciousness. During those three months, we organized our living around the practice of the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola (the heart of Jesuit spirituality). I heartily recommend this practice. Ignatius wrote one of his annotations to the Exercises so that the world outside the order could also enter this journey of prayer. His vision was amazing to provide this gift. He truly understood the role of the monastery in the extended life of the church and God's people. I'm never too far away from the memory of that experience when I return to the Outer Banks. I know so little about prayer. But my journey with exercises has been a source of the little that I do know and the experience that finally kindled my love for prayer (which seemed to have been extinquished at that point by 30 years of trite theology, fear, and shame).

In the early weeks of the Exercises, I learned (and experienced) the ability to proclaim myself "a sinner loved by God." Most of our bad theology and shame in religious experience comes from our inability to sincerely accept this whole sentence. Some of can't bring ourselves to acknowledge sin and failure. Most of us know this too well and cannot conceive of God's love. The ability to pray this sentence honestly and eagerly is one of the greatest graces I've ever received of God.

The heartbeat of the Exercises is the "Examen." Ignatius taught that, even if one cannot pray any of the daily offices or any other element of the Exercises, one should not delete the examen. The examen is an evening, simple prayer where one asks two questions of God:
1. What opportunity/experience of God's grace and love have I missed today?
2. How have I experience God's grace and presence this day?
The regular practice of the examen yields a growing awareness of our failures AND of God's continual presence in our lives (despite the failures). In short, it teaches us to pray as "a sinner loved by God." The examen is a wonderful practice for the dinner table, community conversation with roommates at the end of the day, or a simple prayer in darkness while falling asleep. I particularly enjoy sharing the examen with others. (For many years, I shared the examen with teens at the end of a day of work on mission teams.)

I find that I am continually relearning the lessons of the Exercises. For too long, I have tried to create perfect times and seasons for prayer or expected deeply memorable experiences of prayer. My perfectionism and idealism become huge barriers to prayer. My friend and spiritual mentor, Fil Anderson, has gently and patiently taught me that prayer is something that we graft into chaotic and hectic lives. This was also, of course, the vision of Ignatius who wrote his 30th annotation of the Spiritual Exercises a gift to those who did not experience the call, privilege, and burden of the monastery.

Peace and Grace — Tim

November

Sorry for my month of inactivity on this site — November has been a vivid, challenging, and wonderful month for me. Here's an update of travels, activities, and life the last month:

Mars Hill Graduate School: A close friend was looking at seminaries a few years ago and came across Mars Hill's mission statement: "Exegeting Text, Soul, and Culture" and I instantly thought — this is what seminary should be about. Over the last couple years I have enjoyed getting to know Dan Allender and work of Mars Hill. This past month, I had the privilege to travel to Seattle and join their board of directors. One of my first assignments will be to help with a redesign of their MDiv program around these three passions of text, soul, and culture. A confession — I've been a long critic of the seminary process of ministry preparation. I felt extremely well trained in the arena of text (although this process was often compartmentalized from spiritual formation, life, culture, and even reality in terms of the time expectations of working pastors — does anyone remember the mantra of one hour of study for every minute in the pulpit?). But I also felt that I had been extremely lucky in having instruction from faculty (aka renegades) who were deeply interested in culture and the soul of a leader and the soul of community. I'm really excited about Mars Hill's desire to be a place to prepare leaders to embody kingdom and gospel in a post-Christian and postmodern world. It will be a privilege to join in and turn my long critique into hopefully a positive contribution.

Our family's fall has been shaped by my mother-in-law's treatment for leukemia at nearby Duke Medical Center. This experience has produced enough life observations for years. There are a couple oncology residents and nurses who embody the kind caring that Jesus insists on in the gospel (including one resident who is a former Division 1 NCAA football lineman who constantly demonstrates how strength and compassion are not alien entities). My greatest lessons have come from my wife, Mimi, who has given meaning to "honor thy father and mother" during this process. Her selflessness and diligence have been inspirational to me. In her wake, I'm constantly asking, "What/who do I love enough to merit such a determination and selflessness." Sadly, my list is too short.

This month I have also made a commitment (if approved by our fellowship) to lead a mission plant in downtown Durham, NC. I would like to use this blog space to chronicle many more of our dreams, failures, and accomplishments. But in brief, we're forming a community of persons who are excited about exploring a different manner of "doing church" that is appropriate to this context. One of our greatest dreams, hence the "mission plant" designation, is to develop this missional community with an intentional relationship with the Chapel Hill Bible Church. It's not a breathtaking discovery, but I have believed the Christian community desperately needs different types of fellowships in intentional partnerships and friendship with each other in our changing culture. I'm eager and excited about the possibility of living out this reality.

We have started a ministry cohort here in the Triangle ("Ekklesia"). Emergent has been slowly developing "cohorts" or "local learning communities" around the US and also in many other countries. These communities are designed to be sanctuaries where leaders can gather and discuss what it means to lead and do ministry in a changed culture. Many thanks Chris Marlow and Ken Nussbaum (founding pastors of "Sacred," an innovatiive emerging church plant in Raleigh) for taking the time and energy to get Ekklesia started. Our next gathering is on January 6 at Cafe Cyclo in Cameron Village (downtown Raleigh) at 10am. If you're local, please feel invited to join this new community. We are discussing Brian McLaren's "Generous Orthodoxy" in our meetings as well as sharing about our communities as a vital first step to ministry friendship and partnership.

Finally, I do want to recommend this last offering from Brian McLaren ("Generous Orthodoxy"). For many years, I've struggled to offer to friends who are engaging or exploring the Christian paths a book that does not lead the reader through a series of obscure presuppositions or insulting generalizations. I think Brian has truly succeeded in his efforts to produce such a book. This book is intended not as a final statement (note the very humble "Chapter 0" preamble) but as a provocation to greater dialogue. Brian, a friend I value, has always led with a tone of generosity, inclusion, and humility. Brian, thank-you for this bold and vulnerable contribution to the conversation.

The Gathering: New Mexico in October

I'm just leaving Emergent's "Gathering" near Santa Fe, New Mexico. The Gathering is the Emergent community' s family reunion. This is a time of great friends, innovative ideas expressed in a setting devoid of microphones and harsh critics, great food, stunning landscapes, and one of those tastes of the kingdom that Jesus insists is forming in our midst. It is truly a unique event, or non-event more specifically. There is no registration cost. No ideas are shared for an honorarium. In fact, we schedule our meetings (really conversations) after we arrive. These conversations are formed by the interests, questions, visions, and concerns of those who attend.

Some thoughts from this week —
• We had a great conversation of why church plants fail, why our evaluation of church plant failures could be entirely wrong(!), and the hope that the home church movement brings to the greater church.
• Other conversations included money, family life in the way of Jesus ethic and mission, life decisions and a life rule in following the way of Jesus to name a few.
• Doug Pagitt raised the idea of how the scientific transition from Newtonian Physics to Quantum Physics (don't snicker) can alter, refine and redescribe our Christology, notion of the Trinity, perceptions of past and future, the organic and spiritual union with Christ that we call salvation, and can truly shed light of the mysterious tension of the past, present, and future kingdom that Jesus announces! I haven't been more excited about reading a work of science in many, many years! Thanks to Doug for always living on the edge of exploration and mystery.

Don't get me wrong — there's a place for large events. Our convention (done in partnership with Youth Specialties) is an excellent large event and serves a critical role. But, nonetheless, the Gathering is special and I hope that some of you consider joining us next October. By the way, there are few places in the world more beautiful (or fun) than New Mexico in October.

I'm off to Seattle to see my brother's family (who we love and miss dearly) and the Harbers (wonderful friends who moved from Chapel Hill. After these visits, I'll have a couple days meetings at Mars Hill Graduate School. Mars Hill is a school that I believe can help revolutionize preparation for life and ministry. I'm excited about the opportunity to share in this vision.

Peace —
Tim

• BTW — Harry's Roadside Grille in Santa Fe has the best breakfast I've ever had, anywhere. The staff is as nice as the food is good.

"More Christ"

A Personal Update: My mother-in-law, Charlene, has been able to leave Duke Medical Center for possibly a couple weeks until the next round of chemo. She will be in Tennessee living with Mimi's older sister. We're so thankful that she is getting this respite from the hospital and constant treatment. Thanks so much for all the help, friendship, prayer, and kindness we've received from so many. Understanding and experiencing our place in community has been one of the true gifts of this season.

As I've written throughout the summer, I have been leading an emerging culture initiative for our church. This initiative is now moving into a much higher gear. Our vision community had a wonderful time presenting our dream to the Chapel Hill Bible Church's Elders. As an initiative leader and as an Elder, I've been able to listen in on both sides of the conversation in regards to these plans. I have been so encouraged to see how enthusiastic our church's leadership has become for the possibilities of this mission. In short, the leadership has encouraged us to not only continue dreaming but to take action.

Our plans now call for the formation of a missional community in downtown Durham. We have not closed the discussion on whether this community should eventually become a separate church. But, for now, we hope to development a mission that is distinct from the Chapel Hill Bible Church (authencity requires it) AND uniquely connected to CHBC. We hope to continue to in partnership with CHBC. We will have so much to learn from the many of years of ministry experience of this unique fellowship. We will need their love, support, and blessing to truly address our calling. We also hope to help shape and influence the future of CHBC by stepping a bit faster down the path of cultural change. We truly hope that our exploration, mission, and embodiment of the gospel will be an act of blessing to CHBC.

One of my dreams for the church as it moves into the emerging culture is an explosion of diverse partnerships. The Christian community has been marked by separation, competition, and a broken communion. Much energy has been exerted as fellowships seek to replicate themselves in new (and often distinctly different) contexts. What we need, I believe, in the emerging postmodern, post-Christian, post-individual, post-rational, post-Evangelical, post-liberal, post-Reformation, post-consumer (to name of a few of many relavent "posts") culture is a new manifestation of community among those who follow the way of Jesus. I am excited about the opportunity to express this in a small way in our own community. I will look forward to many opportunities to hear how others express this need in their own communities.

In regards to this dream, I want to share a great sound-byte. To shape and guide this mission, a community of friends have begun to gather on Sunday evenings to pray, dialogue, dream, and share communion. For our first time of communion, I had asked my son, Keenan, and another 4th grade friend (Morgan) to help distribute the elements. After everyone had been served, my son was left with a still full of platter of warm bread. Instead of setting it down, he (with a flair for the dramatic, don't know where that comes from....) bowed in the center of our group and held high the plate over his head and exclaimed, "More Christ!" We laughed and immediately realized that this blurb had the potential to become both a rationale and organizing principle of our mission. Isn't that what we need? Seriously, anyone, "more Christ."

Skipping to the Last Chapter

I apologize for being a "blog-truant" for the last couple weeks. In short, we've been living in the middle of challenging and unforeseen circumstances this month.

Just over two weeks ago, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with acute leukemia (AML). Mimi immediately departed to Tennessee to be with her. After stenuous research and prayer, her mom and her sisters decided to bring her here to Duke for treatment. This has yielded a significant schedule change for our whole family with my becoming a bit of a "single Dad" over this time. We would certainly solicit your prayers for Mimi's mom, Charlene, during this time of intense treatment and hospitalization.

During this same time frame, a good friend in our community (a groomsman in our wedding) lost his wife, Lisa, in a tragic automobile accident. I wanted to share a few thoughts about Lisa today. During Lisa's funeral, I learned that she had a unique way of reading novels — she always read the last chapter first. She would read the final chapter and thus assess the value of the time and emotional energy expended in reading the novel (she didn't like sad endings!). The revelation of this fact was not only filled with irony but also produced many knowing smiles and chuckles. Everyone knew that this was exactly how Lisa lived her life. Lisa was one of those rare persons who was never late. Whether the occasion was significant or trivial, she was on time. Like most timely persons, she always planned her time by starting with the moment that she needed to leave and working backwards — again starting with the end. While sitting in the hospital waiting room, Bill confided to me that months before Lisa had planned her funeral (on a date with her husband, no less!). It's hard to imagine, but this physically-fit 40 year old mother of five young children (she was one of those 10K runners who was finishing at the front while folks like me are making a halfway turn!) was thinking about the end of her life even when life seemingly promised so many more chapters. She said to Bill as she envisioned her own funeral, "Like anyone, I'm afraid of dying — but I'm not afraid of death." Lisa's life was a life of mission, community, and worship — lived constantly with the end in mind.

I talk often about missional living and am constantly explaining and describing what I think this looks like for folks in our community. Missional living seems to be understanding the redemptive end that God has in mind for creation — the coming kingdom to use Jesus' language — and working backwards — working backwards such that the this coming kingdom is also a present reality that is realized, expressed, and embodied in the fabric of our lives and community.

Lisa and her husband Bill had taken their five children to Kenya to serve in a medical mission for a month in 2003. In June of 2004, Lisa and Bill had just returned from Costa Rica where they were exploring opportunities for a church-sponsored mission trip. As a family, they were involved with volunteer opportunities in their community. For example, I remember the stories of Lisa and her kids baking cookies and distributing them for the people who lived in shelters for weeks during the floods caused by Hurricane Floyd, while Bill volunteered his time as a doctor. They were very concerned and involved with ensuring the integrity of the gospel preached and taught in their home church as well as in the global Church. They not only taught Sunday School classes to children and adults, but they offered their lives as examples of people depending on Christ to live the gospel. I thank Lisa for her embodiment of missional living with a life lived well.

All week long I have been thinking of the only episode of "Chicago Hope" (a late 80's, early 90's cookie cutter hospital drama) that I ever saw. This episode (as I remember it, or at least as it should have been!) featured an affluent, successful doctor whose life was in shambles. He was lonely. His girlfriend was threatening to move out. Even his expensive car had broken down on the way to the hospital to make his rounds. In the midst of his own personal chaos, he rushed into the room of a dying man to tell him "to get his affairs in order." As these fateful words were uttered, this man did not panic or cry. Instead, he gathered his wife and children around and replied, "My affairs are in order."

I have cried several times in the last couple weeks thinking about Lisa's untimely and tragic death. I pray often for Bill and their children as they face myriads of hard decisions and adjustments. I have also been inspired by the privilege of knowing and mourning someone whose affairs were in order.

Chicago

Sorry that I have been "blog-absent" for the last bit. The last two weeks of August in a university town are a bit crazy. I just got back from Chicago (an Emergent meeting). Our big adventure was being under a tornado warning for a couple hours. We were driving back from dinner in Elgin, ILL and heard the sirens blare. When we got back to our meeting locale at the International Teams Headquarters — Tim Keel, Doug Pagitt, and I decided to forego the basement to walk the grounds in pursuit of a tornado or funnel sighting. No sightings — but the closest funnel touchdown was only a few miles away. I think Laci Scott will be having tornado nightmares for weeks to come!

By the way, the hospitality of International Teams was an amazing gift to us. I was truly inspired by the way we were loved, taken care of, and embraced by this very thoughtful missions organization.

It was great as always to spend time with Tim, Doug, Laci, Brian McLaren, and Jason Clark (our Emergent-UK and international coordinator). Serious work was done, but whenever I with this group I always have a heavy and therapeutic dose of laughter and return with a few media "don't miss" recommendations. Here are my post-Chicago media recommendations —

•The British sitcom "the Office." Absolutely hilarious. Doug had the first season on DVD. A few scenes from this will surely grace a sermon or class in the future. I believe an American version is being made. I don't believe it can approach the humor of the "dilbert-like" work environment the British version portrays.
•Website: A spoof of recent Presidential gaffes (Bush and Clinton) with a decidedly liberal perspective (read: Republicans without a sense of humor should pass this one by). Best W. quote — "Our enemies never stop thinking of ways to threaten America — and so do we!"
•Book (on a more serious note): Brian McLaren's "Generous Orthodoxy" arrived Amazon the day we convened. I read a few selections of a copy Brian brought. This is going to be an excellent and important book.
•Blog: I hope you're reading Doug Pagitt's blog

I returned from Chicago refreshed, thankful, and feeling truly rich and blessed by the many friendships that I have developed over the last decade in YoungLeaders, TerraNova Project, and now Emergent (which is approaching its five year anniversary).

One meeting note to report — Emergent has truly become an international movement. Jason Clark and Brian McLaren have worked so hard as observers, scouts, and ambassadors around the world. Emergent now has leaders convening and organizations forming in the UK, France, Eastern Europe, East Africa, South Africa, Malaysia, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and more. When I hear these reports, I am humbly reminded that God's is truly doing something ecclesiastical in this world and we are just trying to follow the movement of God's Spirit.

I also want to plug the Emergent Gathering in Glorietta New Mexico on October 18-21. This is our annual pilgrimage, un-convention for the emergent community. It is informal, highly relational, fun, and inspiring. There is no registration cost. Those who share their ideas do so freely without any compensation. The only costs are travel, food, and lodging (very inexpensive at Glorietta, the huge Baptist camp just outside of Santa Fe). Santa Fe and New Mexico are breathtakingly beautiful in October. The informal worship gathering we did last year to end the Gathering was one of most overwhelming visual, prayerful experiences of my life (I felt like I was in Rivendell). Consider joining us for this time of thought, prayer, and relaxation.

Celebrating with Lattimore

Mimi and I got a call on Monday morning from our friend Lattimore. He called to say that he "had just finished cutting his grass." This is not the usual cause for celebration for most us and certainly rarely merits informing others (though I do think my neighbors might want to call and celebrate when I get around to cutting my own grass). But for Lattimore (see August 2 posting), a friend who is making the difficult transition from homelessness to having a home, this is a huge celebration. Through an organization in Durham called Second Chance, he now has a home that he shares with 3 other adults.

I would love for you to join us in celebrating this wonderful news. Lattimore's friendshp has taught our family so much about difficulties and challenges of poverty. He has freely shared his pain, mistakes, temptations, and joys with our whole family. We have been utterly challenged and blessed by his friendship. We have seen the indignity that comes with homelessness through his eyes. We have seen many examples of generosity through the friendshp and support he has received in our community and in our fellowship. I have always felt that the gospel makes so much more sense in the context of poverty and pain. And I have felt that that poverty and pain provide the greatest opportunities to embody and proclaim the gospel. Lattimore's life and experiences have made the gospel real, challenging, infuriating, and refreshing to us this summer.

Congratuations Lattimore! May your grass grow continually! (And your joy in tending to its needs never cease!).

A Job Well Done — A new journey on the horizon

I want to thank a community of friends — Denise Friesen, Melinda Denton, Elizabeth Travis, Rebecca and Bill Stevenson, Betsy and Jimmy Long, Rick Fannin, Don Taylor, Ed Richmond, Andrea Turlington, Steven and Amy Nicholson, and Mimi Conder — for a job well done.

This community has served as a vision community for the emerging culture initiative that I have been leading at the Chapel Hill Bible Church. As a community, we have been meeting together for seven months to listen to God's voice and offer a recommendation to our leadership about a ministry initiative related to the emerging culture. Our times together have been filled with prayer, personal vulnerability, honest declarations of hopes and dreams, and respectful listening to each other. What a pleasure and a privilege. When we first convened, we expressed a huge diversity of action preferences for this initiative. I have experienced God's presence as our path moved to that of an excited consensus of action.

On Wednesday evening, we presented our dreams, heart, and plans to the Elder Board. (Several of us were in dual roles — Don and I as current elders, Rick and Jimmy as former elders and former elder chairs.) I was so pleased by this presentation. Rebecca was our primary spokesperson. She spoke eloquently and passionately. Every one in our community offered powerful and appropriate personal comments throughout the presentation. I don't think this team could have done a better job.

We have some very exciting dreams. We hope to foster an authentic ministry to the emerging culture while staying in a mutually influencing, reciprocal relationship with an existing church. This type of relationship is quite rare in the church life in a America. We are excited about forging some new ground that others can observe. Our efforts to minister to the emerging culture could also be stated more precisely. We understand that the church has much to learn from the emerging culture in our society as well. Ancient Christians passions of contemplation, the celebration of beauty and utilization of artistic creativity, wholistic spiritual formation, understanding the role of community in God's redemptive work, justice, ecology, and so much more have reawakened in the emergence of this new culture. We hope and dream for a reciprocal relationship with an emerging culture that informs and refines (rather than compromises) our telling of the grand metanarrative of God's redemption of humanity and all of creation. We look forward to forging many new partnerships in this endeavor understanding that this is "not about us" but it is about participating and joining what God is doing.

Perhaps the strongest words in our presentation to the Elder board on Wednesday came from Elizabeth Travis. She was responding to the question, "What do you think this initiative and specifically this proposal will prevent us from doing (i.e., other programs the church could resource)?" Elizabeth responded, "I can't speak to other plans, but I can testify that God is doing something here!" Great words. I do believe God is doing something.

We look forward in the very near future to sharing our proposal with you. We look forward to dreaming with you. We look forward to new communities living in missional submission to the God's ongoing narrative of redemption is a changed and changing world.

Paul's Awkward Gift: Philippians 4:10-20

In the comedy "Analyze This," Billy Crystal plays a therapist who is employed by a mafia boss (Robert DeNiro) to help him deal with his repressed anger. Crystal's patience with one his client's temper explosions prompts DeNiro to send him a gift. And what a gift it is — a huge stone fountain (it's so large that it almost is taller than Crystal's two storey middle class home and takes up much of his front yard)! You can imagine the dilemma — how can you accept such an overwhelming gift that might bring you under suspicion from others (why would a mafia boss be so happy with you?) and how can you afford to appear ungracious to a giver with such a violent history.

The apostle Paul finds himself in a similar situation (described in Philippians 4:10-20). The Philippians generously send such a large financial gift that Paul is prompted to say, "I'm now well supplied," and imply, "Please don't send any more!" The gift is awkward because it challenges his ministry principle of paying his own way as he preaches. He wants no one to be able to accuse him of profiting from his calling. But how can he turn down or even rebuke this amazing example of sacrificial giving? In this text, he walks a tightrope of businesslike detachment from the gift (at one point he states that he has received the gift using a Greek term that denotes "receipt" — giving the Philippians a businesslike "bread and butter note" acknowledging their gift formally and stiffly) and effusive praise (comparing the gift to the pleasing aroma of an acceptable sacrifice offered to God in the Israelite temple).

This is my text for my August 8 sermon. This was a fascinating text to consider with so many thoughts about gifting, receiving, community, and worship. If you study this text, I think you'll quickly see a broad understanding of gifting and receiving as acts of worship — that worship (a life posture of dependence on God) demands that we give sacrificially and receive with discernment and humility. The communal nature of worship and the spiritual life are also affirmed. Giving and receiving are essential acts of community (when done as Paul suggests they require community involvement). Hence, a strong link of community to worship is made in this text.

I found some other significant points of theology to consider from this text...
• The text touches on the mystery of God's response to our material needs. I don't understand why God doesn't alway intervene in legitimate material needs — Paul seems to affirm that the conditions of our lives (our finances, the quality of our lives and relationships) do not always seem to line up with the spiritual reality of our lives.
• Paul seems to emphasize the role of vision/values on our giving and a life of simplicity (living beyond our circumstances, enjoying a vibrant communion with God regardless of our life situations).
• Paul challenges us to live in a manner that fosters a dependent, organic union with God. This is the core principle to shape both our giving and receiving. This is also a sharp challenge to our tendencies to be dependent, entitled persons or to be radically independent persons.

For those of you who heard my sermon (and any others), I would be honored for you to use this space as a place for public dialogue about gifting and receiving and a place for sharing your own narratives on this subject (for first-timers there's reply box at the bottom).

I have written a few times in this space on related issues (July 7 and July 8). I know that a significant portion of my journey involves an essential challenge to my strong tendency toward independence which can make me awkward in gifting and receiving. My path to worship seems to run through these challenges.

Gospel and Poverty

We're back from a week's vacation in Ohio — a full week without my normal "online oxygen."

I wanted to share some thoughts about poverty and the gospel that I didn't get out before we hit the road. Two weeks ago, our family had a series of experiences related to poverty in Northeast Central Durham — Durham's most notorious and impoverished neighborhood.

The Saturday before we left for vacation, I had the pleasure of helping move Denise Friesen into a home she has recently purchased in this neighborhood. Denise has been a teacher in Durham city schools for seven years and now has just begun a job at the Center for Documentary Studies as a resource person helping educators utilize photography and other arts as tools for literacy training. Denise has been a wonderful friend since her days at Carolina and has not only inspired the mission of our family but also models missional living in so many ways. She has so often taught us that even our most noble discussions about incarnational ministry (in short, taking to whole gospel into the contexts of the lives and communities of others) can be paternalistic. So often we operate incarnationally to transform others without being fully open to learn from and be transformed by those we engage with the gospel. Denise has taught us that embodying the gospel to the poor is so much more complicated than seeking out the poor with noble and simplistic hopes of empowerment and change. Poverty is a system that grips people in a manner where change is slow and in many cases improbable. The gospel compels us to seek the poor as friends, neighbors, recipients of our resources — and as teachers and guides of what it means to follow Christ in our very complicated world. We had a couple other experiences two weeks ago that reinforced these lessons — the powerful grip of poverty and the importance of our presence in the lives of the poor.

The first experience comes from our family's experiences the Antioch Baptist day camp two weeks ago. Antioch Baptist is a church located in Northeast Central Durham. Our church has been forging a partnership with Antioch and has targeted this neighborhood as an area of intentional and reciprocal ministry. Antioch had graciously invited a team from CHBC to lead a week of their educational day camp. Mimi volunteered to attend daily, lead the arts component, and to help with coordinating some other speakers. Our kids attended each day and campers and helpers. The week was a marvelous success. Our fellowship is so blessed with caring, innovative, and experienced educators. But there were, as expected, some difficult moments. The most difficult involved observing interactions of some of the camp counselors (teens who regularly lead the camp) with the campers. On occasions these teens used intense and condescending language with quick threats of expulsion to manage the kids even in circumstances where the kids were being attentive and engaged. I realize this was a cross-cultural situation that we didn't fully understand, but in these interactions it was easy to see the long tentacles of poverty — kids being told that little was expected from them except failure. Poverty breeds a language, tone, and expectations of failure that are hard to escape.

A second experience involves Lattimore, a homeless man from Chapel Hill that our family has befriended this summer. I want to write so much more about Lattimore — we are learning so much from him and being stretched in some many ways by this friendship. Lattimore grew up in Northeast Central Durham. His story is very complicated. He has been a marine, a cook in a highly respected restaurant in the area, and a successful vocalist on the blue circuit over the past three decades. He has also been drug dealer on the streets of Durham. He was incarcerated for thirteen years and shot on four different occasions because of this vocation. He is now dying of AIDS which he contracted from sharing needles as an IV-drug user. He is also a man with a vibrant and deep Christian faith.

Over this summer, we have had so many new experiences with Lattimore. We've watched him be mistreated by restaurant owners while eating with us for simple requests (like wanting more ranch sauce with his chicken wings!) while our kids seemingly endless requests for drink refills are met with smiles. There are also some merchants and restaurant owners that take a good care of him on Franklin St. (Chapel Hill's main street). But his efforts to get housing have taken him back to Durham, which is threat to his safety — he has explained to us that he is an OG ("old gangster") in Durham where there are many scores that could be settled. While in Durham for the Antioch camp, we spent some time with a variety of social workers and case workers to help with Lattimore's housing. The system is so complicated. One afternoon, while shuttling between case workers, Lattimore took us on a driving tour of the neighborhood. The tour included the places he grew up, places where he fought and was shot, and even an interpretation of the morning's newspaper (There had been a drive-by shooting and murder the evening before and Lattimore knew the victim and the suspects). As Mimi and I debriefed this day, we were both overwhelmed with almost inpenetrable power of poverty — a system which demands energies and resources that the poor do not have, living conditions that make crime a hard choice to escape, shattered dreams, and marginalized expectations.

I'm thankful for friends like Denise who know these realities yet forge ahead and who teach us appropriate expectations as we seek to embody the gospel with the poor. I'm thankful for friends like Lattimore who offer an amazing humanity to the tragedy of poverty. I share these experiences without answers. But I continue to realize that faithfulness to the gospel demands greater thought and more courageous efforts to be in community with the poor.

Farewell to the Harbers

Farewell to Alyson, Eric, Ryan, Serena, and Jo-Jo Harber — wonderful friends who moved this week to Seattle.

We spent much of the last week trying to say farewell these friends. The operative word in that last sentence was "trying." We had several fun dinners, spent a weekend together while our boys played in a soccer tournament, played a few practical jokes (The Conders paid back an old debt of a really clever anti-Carolina song written by the Harbers to the tune of "Jingle Bells" by our own desecration of a Christian praise song tune with lyrics defaming Duke and Coach K), gave and received some hugs, shed some tears, and offered a few words in an attempt to summarize the breadth of our friendship. But you really can't adequately say farewell to friends to have deeply affected your life. I'll venture one more college try at farewell by trying to share a bit of what we learned in this friendship.

The Harbers helped expose some of the deepest maladies that afflict our family — our independence and self-sufficiency. We're pretty good at helping others out. But when it comes to our needs, we like to "go it alone." We're the family who buys the chainsaw to use once in a while but also to make available to our neighbors whenever they need it. We're great at lending but not so good at borrowing or asking for help. We like to feel sufficient and capable to meet all of the demands of life, even in the times when those demands come in overwhelming waves. Alyson and Eric are friends that insisted on helping out during those times. You know what kind of friendship I'm describing — the friends who drive your kids to events, games, and parties when you're too tired or overcommitted to attend — the friends who cheer as vehemently for your children as they do their own — the friends who applaud the gifts of your kids and love them despite their weaknesses — the friends who help out and don't keep score — the kind of friends who know you and still love you.

I want to thank the Harbers for being friends (among several others) who have taught us that life is so much better when shared — that self-sufficiency and independence rob us of the joy of receiving the love and presence of others in your life — that the challenges of life are only managable in community. This was only a portion of our friendship. We will miss all the other laughs, the Monday night dinners at Moe's ("Welcome to Moe's!), the soccer sideline conversations of matters great and small, our Duke vs. Carolina taunting, and most of all the opportunity to share life regularly with you.

May you find the embrace of the kind of community you extended here to so many in your new home. You will be missed but our lives remain fuller because of this friendship. We will eagerly await your returns.

Tim

"We approved this advertisement on love, friendship, and community"
- Mimi, Keenan, and Kendall

New Paths - Old Paths

I have been leading an "emerging church initiative" for the Chapel Hill Bible Church for the past five months. Sadly, I occasionally lose sight of the significance and gift of this opportunity. The Chapel Hill Bible Church has been an extremely unique and effective church in a collegiate community for more than thirty years (they made some decisions in the 70's that even courageous church today might forego). It is rare that churches that have a legacy of effectiveness are willing to consider new paths of ministry. But CHBC has been willing to allow me to reshape my time this year to imagine new trajectories and possibilites of community and mission. This is truly a gift.

In February, I pulled together a fairly diverse group of twelve persons to begin dreaming about possibilities and new horizons of ministry for our community. Our initial thoughts were very different. But, over time, it has been truly exciting to see some consensus form in this group. Tonight we meet to discuss and probably affirm a ministry proposal for CHBC.

This ministry proposal blesses a series of partnerships with our initiative and existing ministries in our church (trying to avoid make the emerging church initiative as a new thing that competes with rather than complements our ministries). The proposal also challenges our fellowship to move into new ground in areas of mission, spiritual formation, community, and worship (hopefully striking a balance between all of these critical components).

Who knows — these ideas could certainly fail. Not a day passes that I do not contemplate some of the huge differences between some of the thoughts and practices that have formed in emerging church circles and some of the presuppositions of existing churches like ours. I have written often (and hopefully gently) in this space about some of those differences. But ever the optimist, I am drawn to the possibility of churches like ours (churches with a history of risk-taking and innovation) helping to mark the path of change for Christian community as our culture rapidly transitions into a different era. I don't consider us necessarily the leaders or trailblazers in this transition. But, nonetheless, I believe the path we could mark is a significant one.

The Christian church, flaws notwithstanding, has had a history of Spirit led transition and adaptation. I still have confidence in the church. I also feel the need for folks like myself (who have been in the "emerging church" and before that the "postmodern church" conversation — who knows what will be next! — for some time) to bless and affirm the existing church. Innovation, creativity, and transition are not antithetical to affirmation of the historical narrative of Christian community and its impact on our society. In truth, I believe that a blessing of the past is a critical element of appropriate change. One of my entry points into the emerging church conversation was its passionate interest in the historical church.

In leading our initiative in Chapel Hill, I have become aware of how frustrating and even insulting the term "emerging church" can be for some. It can sound like a brash critique of the church's ancient and recent legacy — some naive trumpet blast proclaiming that "we have invented something new that can be disassociated from its roots!" I have had this experience numerous times in professional meetings — hearing a new idea being championed that we had practiced for many years. The tone of innovation and change can be abrasive. I certainly apologize for the ba-gillion times that I do this! But, transition and innovation are truly exciting. When it is all said and done — I wonder if we (we, the church) will realize how many times we oppose or at the bare minimum badger Spirit-led changes. I am enthused beyond any expectation that I had twenty years ago to see how the church in our culture is adapting. I am more confident in church now than I ever was as a teen in the 70's or a young pastor in the 80's. Much good lies ahead. Many new paths and thoughts are springing before us. New opportunities abound. It is good to be on this path.

Sacred and Secular?

For those who are in the church or live in some level of Christian community, it is common to refer to the forces and realities outside of Christian community as "the world" or "the culture." Typically our references are perjorative and our expectations fearful.

It is very true and appropriate that we make some very special theological affirmations about those within the church —
• We say that we are "in Christ" meaning that we are in relationship with Jesus and a triune God — we are joined to God!
• We might also say that we "walk in God's Spirit" meaning that we are in some manner recipients of God's Spirit (God's Spirit dwells within us).
These are critical affirmations that make knowing and experiencing God a source of joy, a unique privilege, and the defining mark of one's existence. These theological realites distinguish Christ followers from those who do not accept or find this path.

Even with these theological affirmations in mind, it can be very unfortunate for Christ followers to always use negative languages or tones to refer to the culture around us. When we do so, we often set up a false dichotomy between the sacred and secular in culture. From my experience, the things I might call "sacred" sometimes don't seem so sacred. Often I am moved by how "sacred" certain aspects of our "secular" culture have become.

An old but favorite example — I remember the first time that I read John Irving's "A Prayer for Owen Meany." I don't know if I'll ever be as moved by a Christ figure in literature as I was by Irving's diminutive, prophetic character, Owen Meany. After finishing this novel (about 12 years ago), I was so shaken that I took a day off (it was no choice, I wasn't able to work) to mourn, contemplate, and enjoy aspects of the Christ narrative that are so often lost to me. (For those of you who are Owen Meany fans, I keep a bronze armadillo on my desk at home to remind me of Owen, the voice, the shot, and the power of this narrative!) This work is sacred and secular. It is a powerful and prophetic voice of the Christian narrative and God's redemptive heart from an unexpected source. John Irving does not need to convert (I know nothing of his spiritual commitments) for this to become sacred.

I'm nervous that our tone and language about culture can blind us to a series of critical realities. When we demand a constant and sharp dichotomy between the sacred and secular, we heighten the following risks:

• We can become oblivious to the ways that Christian community is shaped by the assumptions of our culture that are antithetical to the gospel. Make no mistake, many of our cultural assumptions war against the soul of the gospel. We can be blind to how consumerism, the American dream, individualism, self-help, relentless busyness, and socio-economic stratification have become codified and even blessed in Christian community.

• We can diminish God as Creator and redeemer. God is the creator of our whole world — all who follow God's way and all those who reject the gospel narrative, our environment and world as well as those who live in it, and every community and nation in our world. God's redemptive hopes and plans include all of creation. God's love goes way beyond those who are Christ followers and the communites and products that we call "sacred."

• We can diminish the Scriptures and the texts we call sacred. The power of these texts is that they come to us in human language and in a human context. They are another act of incarnation. They remind of us a God who speaks understandably to us and intervenes in our lives. I accept the authority of the Scriptures because there is so much "non-sacred" material in them, so much truth about our lives and the world we have created, so much mystery, so much that confounds my logic.

• We can limit God's voice and invitation in our lives. God's voice comes to us in so many ways beyond the (seemingly) safe confines of sacred community. Through artists, writers, politicians, critics, and even national enemies — God speaks. Israel had this experience so often — God's word and direction coming from the mouths of their enemies.

So let's not be naive to the aspects of our culture found outside and inside Christian community that dull us to God's voice and manipulate or even contradict the gospel. But let's also not create language that limits God's redemptive voice in our lives and community.

So go out and see "Saved" and ask where is God's voice in this parody. Read, write, interpret, create, form community, and think with a perspective shaped by God's redemptive narrative. God's voice is pleading, shouting, laughing, cajoling, provoking, comforting, and inviting us in so many places — many places that we do not expect. But, isn't that the great part, expecting a stone and receiving bread in even desolate places.

Gifting and Receiving: Deconstructing our "Conditionality"

Yesterday I wrote about the importance of receiving as an act of community. For folks like me, no act of community (besides "asking for help" — a heightened risk and experience of receiving) is more difficult. Why is receiving gifts (and asking for help) so difficult for so many?

Some Answers:
• Personal tendencies and struggles: shyness, insecurity, insignificance
• Our independence (the James Bond myth that so many of us live out where we like to imagine or portray that we can handle any contingency) is threatened
• Fear of being "known" — the fear of being truly in community

I believe that all of the above are true — they are all true in their application to me and my life on occasion. But, here is another possible answer with some significant implications for life in the church and Christian community —
• We've been hurt, manipulated, and even violated by the "gifts" of others!

How often have gifts come with strings, conditions, or expectations? Every day we receive such "gifts." Jack Caputo, a Professor of Philosophy recently at Villanova University, led seminars at this year's Emergent Conventions (emergentvillage.com or youthspecialties.com) entitled "Why the Church Deserves Deconstruction." Our theology of gifting, receiving, and faith is one of the reasons he cites as justification for a bit of deconstruction. As background, he mentioned that the word for "gift" in many languages is also used on occasion for "violence" or "poison." So often gifts are used to burden, manipulate, or control the lives of others to justify this expanded range of meaning for the word. In most societies, we limit gifting and forbid those who hold certain offices or positions from receiving gifts for this reason.

This link between gift giving and receiving and conditionality is fully engrained in our experiences and expectations. When given random or unexepected gifts, we are hardwired to ask, "What does the giver want?" This expectation and fear certainly thrives in our theology and Christian practices. How often do we think of God's gifts from the vantage points of expectation and obligation? Our thoughts or language of "God deserves," "I know I ought to...," "the church expects," or "I feel guilty that..." generally betray a theology of conditionality. Our theologies of conditionality can turn God into a manipulative or even violent giver. This seems so contrary to the ministry of Jesus who gave to so much to so many who understood or practiced so little. Jesus' harshest words (not offered to his executioners or the crowd who demanded his death) were reserved for the religious elite who lived in a world of received conditionality from God and taught conditionality to the people (see Jesus' "brood of vipers" rant in Matthew 23!).

The most sacred elements of our theology can be expressed in this dangerous conditionality.
• "My faith is a result of my wise or lucky responses to God."
• "My salvation is a condition of my response to God."
• "My participation in Christian community is the result of my choices, maturity, knowledge, gifts, or fruitfulness of my actions."
Each of these expressions can diminish God as a conditional giver.

Perhaps this is why we fear receiving from God or God's people. Maybe we can't live up to the expectations. Maybe we've ignored the prerequisites.

I have a friend who has family who manipulate constantly through gifts. This friend has the following recurrent nightmare and "rest dream." The nightmare is that every time this person leaves home, he or she returns to new gifts of furniture piled up in the remaining living space of the home — the hellish experience of having the soul space of life choked by conditional gifts. The restful dream involves wandering through his or her home and occasionally finding previously undiscovered and empty rooms — the heaven of discovery and freedom of space and expression.

This latter dream fits Jesus' portrait of God — a reckless, foolish and obsessive giver (reckless and foolish because we are the recipients and the gifts are given without expectation — without having us sign on the dotted line!).

The sacred acts of Christian community include the discipline of giving without conditionality and receiving without fear! I believe that a life rule that included these practices would be utterly transformative.

Paint Crew

The hardest aspect of community — well, at least for me (and Mimi) — is receiving. It seems so much more comfortable (for us) to observe or anticipate someone else's need and to act by giving. Little wonder that I ended up in professional ministry... This past weekend though we did some receiving. Besides the desire to express gratitude, I wanted to mark this event as a reminder to those who are constant doers, that receiving is also a sacred act of community.

We have been renovating our home for almost three years — and endless stream of tasks, contractors, and CHAOS. For those of you who know me well, you know that chaos is my mortal enemy. Many who come into my office often offer a variation of this comment: "If it weren't for all the books in your office, I would think you were unemployed." I know, neat desk — sick mind — or at least some form of latent control freek.

Our latest round of chaos had included ripping out all of our upstairs carpet and painting these rooms before the new carpet is put in. We have the classic 80's home — stained ceiling molding, chair rails, floor molding, and endless wood (thank goodness it only needs about 4-6 coats of primer and paint to cover the stain — unambiguous sarcasm intended). After our a few foundation repairs, most of our walls need some measure of repairing before painting can begin. It's a job! Our son, Keenan has been out of his room for 5 months (most of his belongings in my office — which I love!) as this project as has been interrupted by numerous urgencies.

We have been reaching the end of our rope on this one. So Saturday we put out a plea for help and about 10 painters responded to our pleas. Ten friends accomplished in an afternoon what would have taken about a month for us to do. What a gift! We're still working, but we are so much closer to the finish line on this project. We're thankful for this help. But, as we debriefed the day on Saturday evening, Mimi and I both commented on the most significant gift — the reminder that receiving is an element of living in community.

Tomorrow, or later this week, I want to post some theological comments on "gifts, receiving, and community." I have recently listened to Jack Caputo's seminar (from the Emergent Convention) entitled "Why the Church deserves Deconstruction." He has some very profound thoughts of why we can be reluctant to receive — and how our theology and practices can so often reinforce this reluctance. Caputo is a philosopher from Villanova Universtiy.

Discernment and Community

Whenever I have to make a hard decision, I always feel some accumulation of personal strain and pressure. What if I make the wrong call? What if my ability to discern God's voice is impaired by ambitions, entitlements, short-sightedness, or fears?

In reflection, I often chide myself for my tendency to forget the role of community in discernment. My experience in the last few years is a constant reminder that we hear God in community — we interpret the contexts of our personal lives, our culture, and the Scriptures best in community. My experiences with community and discernment have been so positive that it reaches the level of sad humor that my predisposition seems so oriented toward taking the pressure of decisions and making decisions individually.

The work of the vision community for our church's emerging culture initiative provides a powerful case in point (and provokes today's posting). This community gathered in February and we have been meeting every two weeks with the expressed goal of proposing an emerging culture ministry plan for the Chapel Hill Bible Church. Over the last five months, I have watched this diverse group (diverse in interests, faith stories, age, gender, and life situation) become a community that listened to each other and remained committed to listening to God — despite my efforts to the contrary. As usual, I showed up ready to explain rationales, prod for opportunities, and to guide us to a "decision" (all the while, feeling strong pressure to come up with "the plan" that all would accept and even eagerly join). But this community constantly offered these words to me (and to each other):
• "Let's make sure that we sacrifice and lead as a community!"
• "Let's be careful not to orchestrate our own agenda without discerning God's agenda and patterns of God's ongoing work in this endeavor.
• "Let's make sure that we consider other communites who share this burden."
• "Let's also consider communities who fear the emerging culture and a ministry agenda directed toward the emerging culture."
• "How will concerted effort in the emerging culture affect other unrelated initiatives in our fellowship and community."

The results of our time together have not been surprising (based on past experience) but have been confounding (in respect to my utter determination to lead individually). When we first met, the group shared their personal hopes and passions about an emerging culture ministry. As I heard these thoughts expressed, my first reaction was that we would never reach a consensus. But, once again, I have experienced a community committed to the spiritual disciplines of community being guided to not only near consensus but also enthusiasm for the process and potential outcomes. Once again, community operates as a recipient of God's presence and guidance and as an interpretative balance to our personal understandings of God's will. Given my predispositions to individualism, I'm sure this will be a lesson I continue to learn.

The good news (already implied) is that the Emerging Culture Team is almost ready to make a recommendation to our leadership. We will meet on July 15 to hopefully complete a proposal and ministry plan that we would then take our church's leadership. We are eager to share our thoughts and visions with you and we are eager to include many of you in this vision. Thanks for your patience and your interest.

Reimagine - Spiritual Formation

This was originially posted on Tue Jun 22, 2004 4:51 pm on the EmergentCHBC forum

I just had lunch with Steve Nicholson. Steve and I have become friends this winter/spring. He and his wife Amy (you may occasionally catch them slipping into CHBC on Sunday mornings) have been working to develop a church plant in Durham around 9th St. over the past two years (Reimagine).

Their experience in Durham offers a valuable insight about community formation and spiritual formation in a post-Christian world. This experience also challenges/informs the conversation about evangelism.

So often our discussion of evangelism is decision-centered and event- centered. We hope those who are seeking Christ will come to events where they can make a decision for Christ. Much energy is placed in creating such events as well as inviting friends to "conversion events." The typical "target" for such events are folks who are ready to make that decision. Is there anything wrong with this time honored model of evangelism? Absolutely not — except when this is sole basis of evangelism and spiritual formation in Christian communities. When this is the sole emphasis of evangelism and the primary goal of spiritual formation, we run the risk of describing the gospel as an "event" and developing worshippers who move from one event to another (this is one of the roots of consumeristic Christianity). Retreats, conferences, and Sunday worship gatherings can be reduced to the "next event where the gospel happens."

If we have learned anything about evangelism and spiritual formation over the past few years, we have learned that many in a post-Christian world choose to participate in a Christian community long before they make commitments to the values and beliefs of this community. We have also learned that the process of spiritual formation begins long before one "makes a decision" or commitment of faith and continues long after this decision. These two assertions are unoriginal and dated. But they have radical ramifications on the Christian communites that we create. Ponder some the following potential changes —

•In at least conservative Christianity, we often work hard to limit the participation of "non-believers" before they make a commitment of faith. I would suggest that this participation before commitment is part of critical process of embracing faith.
•In all types of churches, we are tempted to offer a "lowest common denominator Christianity" (devoid of too many Christian symbols and practices) for those who are pursuing faith. In reality, many of those who have begun the process of spiritual formation want to experience the realities and rituals of Christianity in order to continue a journey toward commitment.
•Often our energy in evangelism is for programs that focus on the "point of decision." Typically our efforts of spiritual formation are reserved to helping folks immediately after making decision. Perhaps, we need to expend considerable creative energy in developing communities who create environments and opportunities for spiritual formation all along the spectrum of the Christian journey. Our corporate worship should include practices and languages that embraces this full spectrum.

Steve and Amy Nicholson have developed a community in "Reimagine" that offers a safe and creative space for people in our community who are in the earliest portions of consideration of the Christian journey of faith. They have been creative, honest, warm, and sensitive to those in culture who no longer begin their quest for spiritual meaning with Christian assumptions, language, or expectations. I truly wish there were more ministries like this in our community.

For those of you who are reading about and praying about the emerging church initiative here at CHBC — one possibility that our vision community is considering for this fall is a partnership with Reimagine. Steve has invited us to consider this option. In many ways, this "so" fits the DNA of CHBC, where we have have been quick and enthusiastic through the years to support the Christian community outside our programs and institutions that we lead/control. When I share about our fellowship, I am quick to brag about how we have shared our space and belongings so radically through the years and how we have been committed to building the broader Christian community in Chapel Hill/Durham rather than our own "kingdom." This is rare, unfortunately. Steve and I have committed to spend a day together in July to imagine what this partnership could look like. I'll keep you posted if this develops.

Our vision community continues to pray over and consider many other trajectories of action (we will likely recommend more than one). We look forward to broadening this discussion by sharing our ideas very soon. We also look forward to building our conversation on this site and the discussion boards.

Tim

In Search of Belonging (&Jack's Stack)

This was originally posted on Sat Jun 19, 2004 8:30 pm on the EmergentCHBC forum

I'm just back from Kansas City. One additional bonus of my meeting was that I got to spend some time with Joe Myers who wrote "In Search of Belonging." The young adults leadership team is currently reading this book — and I would encourage all who are interested in community to read this book!

Joe applies to communication theory to community formation with some truly outstanding applications for every aspect of social living. His primary point is that our need to belong is expressed in four different spaces/spheres:
1. Public — large and somewhat anonymous gatherings (like being
in a church service or the crowd at a game)
2. Social — events where you have the opportunity to share short vignettes of who you are and that of others — meeting places
3. Personal — close and small gatherings where some more detailed personal sharing can occur.
4. Intimate — those few very close relationships where you reveal every aspect of your life

There some very important applications that he makes about community formation in church settings:
- Our tendency to make every public sphere a social sphere, every social sphere a personal sphere, and every personal sphere an intimate sphere actually thwarts community. Many a class, group, or small group are destroyed by this imperative to "intimatize" every event. We need all four spheres to be connected.
- Though plenary services and small groups are good — we need more and varied community spaces to belong. Too often, churches impose the public and personal spheres (with a guilt trip that the personal should be intimate) as the only community options.
- Forced community structures are very limited in their success. Our best efforts are to create atmospheres were community and connections occur.

I definitely encourage reading this book (even though Joe is a huge Indiana basketball fan!).

A confession — my friends in emergent have had a long standing BBQ war. I've done my best to hold up the NC (Eastern of course) side of the argument. But after two trip to Jack's Stack in the depot area of Kansas City (the Crown beef ribs are the ticket!) and some intense sampling of Jack's in downtown Nashville (Memphis style) — I must say KC ribs are really, really good. I won't say that I've had a conversion experience, because conversion is so often a long process right — but I must admit that I "lost sight" of Wilson, NC for a few moments in KC.

Tim

Off to Kansas City "Local Conversations"

This was originally posted on June 10, 2004 on the EmergentCHBC forum.

I'm off to Kansas City for an Emergent meeting. One of my responsibilities for Emergent is to help develop local conversations about the emerging church. We certainly believe that the soul of the emerging church exists in the local community — in the local church, the coffeehouse, the pub, in neighborhoods, and in communities of friends — rather than in organizations, however helpful, like emergent.

If you would like to see an excellent example of a local meeting group (we call them "cohorts," definitely for lack of a better term!), check out a group called "Uprooted" in Chicago led by Geoff Holsclaw
.

Our challenge this week will be to help develop and foster local conversations (primarily in major cities) in a manner where we can establish relationships with these groups without creating needless beaurocracy or controlling these groups to the point that they lose the authenticity of their unique context. Any great ideas?

I have been invited (actually we, CHBC) to join a budding local conversation — a group of pastors and ministries in Raleigh called Ekklesia. The leaders of these church plants and young adults ministries have begun to meet for the purpose of forming friendships and collaborating in emerging church ministry (all of the ministries perceive themselves as a part of this movement). Participants of these ministries have begun to worship together every couple months on Friday evenings. I'm hoping to take a group to the next gathering on Friday evening, July 30.

One of the soul concerns of the emerging church is a collaboration not only with the various strands of the historical church, but shared community and mission with other local expressions of the church. This type of cooperation is what our post-Christian world needs to see and in many ways is what we need in our own spiritual journey. I look forward to where the paths of cooperation will take us.

Jim Thomas, the leader of our mission initiative, is blazing wonderful trails of partnership and community. Tomorrow, he will be worshipping at Antioch Baptist (?), a church pastored by Rev. Michael Page (Dean at NC Central and former chair of the Durham school board with several CHBC'ers. This largely African-American church has extended a hand of friendship and several offers of shared mission (including a summer camp for inner city youth this summer!) to us. Jim is also building partnerships on several levels with Duke Divinity School (another inner city possibility and a shared venture in Brazil).

The possibilities are endless. I so enjoy living in this era of where the various, and so long divided, strands of the Christian church are joining hands again.

Peace — TC

Small Groups vs. Communities

This was originally posted on June 11, 2004 on the EmergentCHBC forum.

I've just finished a week of long meetings (pastors for two days and initiative leaders for a morning). An observation springs to mind that may relate to our initiative here —

In these meetings, we have continued to dialogue about the great hunger in our culture for community. Though sociologists have pointed out that most Americans choose "false communities" or "lifestyle enclaves" (yes, I'm still quoting "Habits of the Heart" after all these years) rather than true "communities."

The typical church response to communities is to demand small group participation. Brian McLaren says that feeding our hunger for community with small groups alone is like trying to feed an elephant by tossing it individual cheerios! I think Brian makes a great point.

Over the years, other pastors around the country and I have noticed that some "small groups" grow in numbers well beyond the normal expectations of a typical small group and actually become communities. These groups can operate as self-defined entities and generally separate from the ministry/church that birthed them in the first place. In this manner, they can become non-missional (not accessible to others in the sending body and non-supportive of the key needs of the sending body) and also unshepherded (their needs and issues are unknown to the sending body). Sometimes they resist (I'm speaking very generally here not only from experience but the experience of other pastors in other fellowships) entreaties for training and guidance from church leadership. Why?

One reason — I believe we treat these communities like small groups. Regardless of the original intention, these groups have become communities. With small groups, one talks about "leaders," "teachers," "regular division," and "organizational plans". But this language seems highly inappropriate for communities. For example, you don't ask communities to divide or split (or at least one does so with measurable thought and circumstance).

What are the real challenges? I believe one real challenge is to help communities remain missional to the larger community. By missional, I don't mean finding ways to serve. What it means is to help these groups become sources of input, guidance, and servanthood for the kingdom goals of the larger community. After all, it is the kingdom goals of the larger community that are intended to help communities "stay on track" and reciprocally larger communities often need their subcommunities to help them stay on track.

A second challenge is to help subcommunities remain accessible to others being in contact with other such groups and to work to support inclusion and incorporation in the larger community. So often, when we find our tribe, we go off the map. Others seeking community see evidence of people in communities but find no way to access these communities. Often subcommunities can prevent other communities from forming by taking a seat at the table without occupying that seat. As a result, much community formation in churches is left to entrepreneurs and others who are willing to make it happen against some implicit resistance. This type of community formation often yields a selective process of getting folks into communities (and many are never selected for a variety of reasons).

Why am I writing on helping subcommunities become missional and the potential inadequacy of small groups as the "magic bullet" to a church's community needs??

I believe that if the church in our culture is going to be voice and metaphor of justice, love, mercy, and hope in our post-Christian, postmodern, post-everythingelse culture — we are going to need to develop the art of forming missional communities that build the sending community and the whole of community of God's people. We have so much to learn and experience in this area. I don't fault subcommunities (aka "small groups") for becoming non-missional. So often we force them to become so! I am eager though for the church (and our church!) to experiment with the developing art of missional community formation. We have many possibilities (Northeast Central Durham — the emerging culture communities in Durham, Chapel Hill, and Carrboro — the throngs of homogenous suburbs that dominate our community).

What would it look like? There are many movements afoot (like the emerging church, the new monasticism, racial reconiliation ministries like our friends at Harambee in Pasadena, and more) that are the living experiments for this need. I'm excited to see our efforts in this direction!

Getting Started

This post was originally on June 10, 2004 on the EmergentCHBC forum

I'm so eager to begin writing regularly about my experiences, observations, concerns, and hopes related to the church in our culture and around the world. Note that I didn't say "emerging church!" Over the last fifteen years (significantly due to the amazing experience I've had in these years at the Chapel Hill Bible Church), my passion has become the church — the whole church, not just portions of the church.

It wasn't always so — my early experiences in church life were routinely less than positive. As a kid of parents who were lay leaders and deeply committed to the local church — I was privy to some of the disputes, the petty jealousies, and hypocracy found in every church. Born in the 60's living in the rural South, I grew up in a church that was adamantly on the wrong side of the civil rights movement. We routinely encountered a fear for new ideas and practices, prejudice, and defensiveness as staples of church life. (Despite these faults, there was also a great spirit of community and joined lives in my childhood experiences in the church).

I went to seminary after college with the strong desire to serve God but not the church. So much of the last twenty years have been a journey home. Even the negative experiences have been redemptive for me. I dream of a church that follows the path of Jesus in embracing cultural diversity, not fearing change, being passionate about shared lives, and thinking missionally about the future while also being deeply respectful of its heritage and past journey of faith. These passions have have been forged in both the positive and negative experiences of church life for me. I find these passions deeply represented in the so called, "emerging church movement."

My love for the emerging church movement has grown over the past ten years as i have recognized a variety of factors in this movement —
•Its love the for the history of the church and its Scriptures
•Its creative thought about culture, gospel, and the future
•Its movement from critique and deconstruction of the traditional chruch to a positive desire to build the church for the present and future
•It's strong call to return to spiritual wholism (seeing the whole person as recipient of God's Spirit) and the call to serve Christ and Christ's kingdom with all of our person
•Its sharp critique of individualism and consumerism and its positive call to form communities that are formed around the gospel and the building of God's kingdom
•Its love for all of God's created world and its attentiveness hearing the voice of God in culture and community.

There's more — but, most of all — I have so often sensed God's Spirit in this movement and see it as one of the ways that God is rebuilding, reforming, and reshaping the church.

I look forward to sharing my thoughts (and hearing yours!) and my paths (and sharing your paths) with you for the purpose of laboring together to build Christ's kingdom, the greater church, and our fellowship. I'm amazed and feel truly privileged to be leading an emerging church initiative in our fellowship. It's remarkable that our church with its 30 years of effective ministry in our community is open to dialogue about future possibilities.

My Prayer for this initiative —
May our paths together be filled with many surprise "intrusions" of God's Spirit and lead us to unexpected places — places that transcend our expectations, hopes, and dreams. May our selfish desires and ambitions be quashed by the presence of God's Spirit in our lives, the example of Christ, and the growing presence of God's kingdom in our world. May we see our community and culture with the vision of God. May we build what God desires.

Peace - Tim

God's Peace —TC